Laugh out Loud

a follow-up with Dr. Chamberlain...

2012-01-31T20:54:00.000-06:00

after five days at home with very little improvement, Shane and I went to see my Primary Care Doctor...our biggest concerns was the pain in my arm and shoulder and my overall weakness and sluggishness...

We found out that the "textbook" recovery time for viral meningitis is 4 to 6 weeks, and Dr. Chamberlain said to expect nothing less than 2 weeks. Just having an established timeline for recovery is calming, it takes the mystery out of it...the unknown just causes worry...

Secondly, we found out that the pain in my arm and shoulder is from thrombosis...I don't know if I can explain it exactly, but while I was in the hospital, the veins in my hands, wrists and arms were blown...so now the veins are making little clots to repair themselves, plus blood is flowing through different veins while the usual ones are healing...I'm supposed to keep heating pads on the painful spots until they heal enough and I start to get relief...

Dr. Chamberlain told me to find things I want to eat (I've had very little appetite), so I can get stronger and my mom just ordered a natural vitamin with immune boosters, so I'll start on that as well...

I'm much less anxious tonight after meeting with the doctor...I know the road to recovery is long, but at least I know I'm on the right road...

Funny how two doctors in the last week have asked me if I have to go back to work...the medical community doesn't seem to think that is a part of the recovery plan...luckily Ashley, Lucy and "my Italian Angel" are handling everything just perfectly...

now off to bed with Morgan...

Greetings from the Hole....

2012-01-25T09:15:00.001-06:00

so it's day four...and I just got the news that my reservation has been extended...here's a little recap of the last few days:

Because the steroids delivered with the antibiotics can increase your sugar, I have been getting regular fingerpricks. Each finger has been pricked three times, so forgive the typing... luckily, the steroids are being decreased today, so I can go off of the pricks and insulin shots

The cultures from my spinal tap are not growing - REALLY good sign that the meningitis is viral versus bacterial, but I am still being treated for 4 different strains of bacterial meningitis. so at 6am, 12pm, 6pm and 12am, the iv's start and last for 4 hours, so I get a little break in between rounds

Last night my IV arm gave out. The pain from the meds moving through my arm was unbearable, so they had to start a new line on the opposite arm (hitting a nerve that extended down into my wrist). Much better, but the original arm is sore, swollen and still leaking - so disgusting!!

I just saw the doctor and he is sending the Infectious Disease doctor in for a consult...better to be safe..

There has been some good news from my oncologist...he does not see anything to suggest that the lymphoma has spread to the bone marrow, so we can finally table that concern...That's about all the news i have for now, still Quarantined and I've watched most of the decent movies, but i can usually find something on HGTV or a Law and Order rerun.

Thanks for al of the kind responses. Sometimes they make me cry...I'm more than a little emotional cooped up in here by myself, but your comments, texts and emails are keeping me tuned in...thanks! hopefully my next post will be from home!

Bacterial Meningitis? sure, I'll try it...

2012-01-23T16:59:00.001-06:00

So if cancer couldn't kill me, can Bacterial Meningitis??

On Wednesday, I started to feel nauseous and i felt feverish. Same thing on Thursday, along with a migraine. Friday and Saturday, same, same. By Sunday the migraine pain was completely unbearable and my neck was really stiff. Off the ER Ashley and I went...

11 hours and a spinal tap later, I bought myself Bacterial Meningitis and probably a 4 day stay at OLOL.

I was concerned after the doctor explained how Bacterial Meningitis is potentially much worse than Viral, but no one prepared me for Quarantine.

I am enclosed behind an extra set of massive heavy doors and all medical staff wear masks, gloves and disposable smocks upon entry - I lost if for a few minutes last night when I saw the nurse, but I'm handling it much better today.

My room package includes Internet and movies...what more could a girl want?

I'm more upset that the school counselor called today because Morgan was upset at school. Luckily Shane met her for lunch and eased some of her anxiety.

Some days we sure get more than we bargained for...

I'll keep you posted...

Senior Care

2012-01-17T20:47:00.002-06:00

Ironman subscribes to the Business Report magazine in Baton Rouge. Recently he brought home the Books of Lists issue and I was reading the "40 Under 40" article... all of a sudden it hit me that my time is running out to make the list. Turning 37 this year only leaves me 3 years to achieve this feat...

Wait a minute...Did I really just think that??? who am I kidding?? The people on this list are motivated, hard working and extremely successful...I, on the other hand, was all of those things in my twenties...but my thirties....well those little girls came along...and that damn cancer hit...and now I'm just lucky to have clean underwear!

So as I re-examine my place in life, I find myself here....

Imagine my surprise when my newest doctor is located in the "Lake Senior Care Center"...My new doctor is actually a Rheumatologist, but isn't it funny how that is in little print at the bottom of the sign...

Do you know they even give out magnets so that old people can locate the phone number easily...oh don't worry, I have one...

So the pain I have been having has a name which makes me feel much better...It's always nice to have a professional confirm that you aren't making it up...it's called Erythema Nodosum...I didn't say it was easy to pronounce, but it exists...

I'll call it EN for short. See EN can be an indicator of a ton of things from strep throat to a systemic disease (like Lymphoma). The Rheumatologist ruled out through blood work Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis and a host of other things I probably wouldn't remember even if she had told me....She was kind and told me with a reassuring smile, "Maybe this is an isolated event and it won't happen again". She drinks the Koolaid...

EN is back in full force and I won't bore you with the details, but when I need assistance getting out of a chair, you'll know why...

So for now I wait....I see the oncologist on Monday for my "in between PET scan" checkup and I'm not sure if the EN combined with the glowing bone marrow is a cause for concern...I mean it concerns me, but I'm an accountant whose medical knowledge ends with bandaids...so I'll just wait and see what he says....

oh, and you should have heard how loud I laughed when I saw the Senior Care sign!

I'm here...

2012-01-11T15:12:00.001-06:00

My laptop was shipped off to Dell...so I'm not blogging...but I'm still here...making lists of fantastic blog post ideas...not really...

I did start a post last week, but then I had to surrender the laptop...and since I work sporadically already, I really try to focus when I'm actually at the office...

Ashley won't be too happy when she realizes I was blogging at work...oh hell...Bama won the National Championship...she doesn't care what I'm doing!

be back soon... Keep on laughing!

Mini Tree

2012-01-01T23:20:00.000-06:00

For two or three years I have been collecting ornaments for a "vintage" style tree...ornaments with mercury glass, glass glitter, old book paper, all in silver and cream or white...a very neutral palatte...

And one day when I had "enough" ornaments or when the girls were "older", I planned to decorate an entire tree this way...then all of a sudden last week - it kind of hit me...I'm not exactly winning the "Most Likely to Succeed to Next Christmas" race...I don't mean this in a doom and gloom sort of way, but I have a few more losses than wins than other people...

So at 9pm last Friday, I ran into Walmart (and when I say "ran", I mean hobbled in an arthritic state) and bought a cute little 3 foot tree...and both of my girls LOVE the little tree...they aren't at all impressed with my beautiful ornament collection, but they love the littleness...they've already asked for "little trees" for their rooms next year...I've created a monster...but a good monster, because I can't really see how a bunch of little pre-lit trees are bad...

and this little tree just reminds me to read "just one more book mommy", play one more game of Cranium, and give a few more kisses...because the laundry can wait, we can eat on paper plates, and the kitchen counters will ALWAYS be messy...but everyone is in charge of making their own happy life...and that's something that shouldn't be put off until tomorrow...

and this little tree makes me really happy...

Happy New Year...I hope you laugh out loud everyday this year!

Week in Review

2011-12-18T12:36:00.003-06:00

I'm a clear nail polish kinda' girl...Sometimes I live on the wild side and choose "Coney Island Cotton Candy" by OPI...but it NEVER fails at this time of year, I see women with really festive nails - red nails, glittery nails, that really cool dark nail polish...so, of course, EVERY YEAR I go a little crazy and try a festive color...and every year I look like a HOOKER...

The same goes for Bloody Marys...I like all of the ingredients of a Bloody Mary and I LOVE the idea of the cool Tabasco green beans and celery sticking out of the glass..but EVERY TIME I taste one, I throw up a little...I really don't understand how they look so good and taste so gross...

Avery was in the first grade Christmas play this week...Skunks in a Christmas play??...Now that's funny stuff!

Have you ever reached into the dryer and the clothes feel "dry enough"...usually I experience this with jeans - where the pockets and crotch are just a little moist...and it's gross...Today I experienced a new level of moisture...I thought my bra was "dry enough"...a damp bra against the "girls" beats moist jeans hands down...

And just when I thought my moist bra was a problem, I talked to a friend whose underwire had come out of one side of her bra on her drive to work...How loud do you think I laughed when I visualized one droopy boob next to one perky boob (and by "perky", I mean "less droopy")...she won - because one droopy boob trumps moist boobs any day...

I'm "enjoying" the holidays alcohol free...and although I was never a big drinker, some commitments are enhanced by a little wine...or Jack Daniels...straight...but alcohol plus residual cancer drugs equals an immediate return of chemo nauseau...and since I'm out of Phenergan, I'm stepping away from that cocktail...Damn...I have the entire Skinnygirl collection collecting dust on my countertop...

So if you're looking for a cocktail, feel free to stop by my house, but you'll have to drink alone...and I will laugh when you start slurring your words...Happy Holidays!

just 5 things...

2011-12-15T16:41:00.000-06:00

1. Since it's 80 degrees with 1,000% humidity today, I turned the air conditioner down to 68 until my toes froze and then made hot chocolate...that's how we "create" Christmas here in Louisiana...

2. My PET scan results are in, and I am still cancer free. I have started to sleep again unaided by sleeping pills...mostly...let's not go totally crazy...

3. Since Coco the Chihuahua entered our lives, the bickering in our house has quadrupled...The girls now fight over who can feed Coco, hold Coco, look at Coco, hug Coco, pick up Coco's shit...

One day this week I found myself yelling, "You two are fighting over SHIT!" When the girls IN FACT realized they were fighting over who could touch dog poo, they felt pretty ridiculous. But that has not stopped me from telling EACH ONE of their FRIENDS repeatedly...mom's SWEET revenge!! oh, and I'm pretty sure Social Services will be arriving any minute, since I cursed at my children in the front yard...

4. I love my therapist...I especially love that since I pay her to listen to me, even when she disagrees with me, she makes it sounds like she's agreeing with me...I've only started seeing a therapist since the chemo debacle ended...weird how when in you're in the middle of it, you don't have time for the emotional crap (and when I say "you", I mean "me")...

5. I'm feeling guilty about how sweet my girls looked in their Christmas picture...I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea and think they look like that normally, because normally they look like "raggamuffins" (as my mom would say)...I mean it was a Christmas picture...of course, I made them brush their hair, brush their teeth and put on a dress...but please don't accuse me of doing that only a daily basis, I only strive for brushed teeth on a daily basis...

5a. I had Christmas lunch today at school. Avery only ate the mystery turkey and the fruit (leaving the prized roll) but Morgan redeemed Avery by "loving the greasy bottom of the roll"...no DNA test required...that one's mine!!

Chronic illness...

2011-12-04T15:00:00.000-06:00

I've kind of had the crash course of "living with cancer" over the last month. I used to think that people got cancer, got chemo, got cured and lived happily ever after...

And I still hope that does happen, but I don't think it's the norm....

30 or 40 years ago Cancer was considered an Acute Illness - meaning rapid onset and short duration - the duration was short because it quickly ended in the pearly gates...Fast forward to today, and Cancer is now considered a Chronic Illness - ie - long lasting with relapses and periods of remission...

What the "What to Expect During Cancer" book doesn't mention is that even though the cancer might be gone, that same cancer could have caused a host of other problems - some lifelong...and that part sucks...bad...

Anyway, I am having a few issues right now, which if occurred individually would be nothing, but when you lump them all together they become "suspicious"...and we all know what "suspicious" means...the "suspicions" will either be confirmed or hopefully denied after my scans this week...too bad the five day waiting period is a test of patience...and deep breathing...and xanax...

If these issues aren't cancer, then I move to Plan B -and figure out what they are. Starting with a rheumatology workup to determine if it's an auto-immune related disease...and I have no idea what any of that means and I don't intend to speculate...I learned a year ago...DON'T SPECULATE...

but what I know for sure is that cancer isn't an isolated thing, it doesn't live in a vacuum...once it takes hold, it makes sure to keep popping up...probably when you least expect it...and that doesn't make me laugh...not one bit...but other things do make me laugh, so I concentrate on those...

kind of like my sweet birthday girl Avery this week with her new tutu wearing dog Coco...

A tutu wearing dog...now that's funny stuff!!

Scrappin'

2011-12-04T11:06:00.001-06:00

I escaped last month to Pine Lily Retreat House. I caught up on Law and Order reruns (seriously, you can always find one on...) and did some major scrappin' and laughing with good friends...

I get so much done when I'm with friends...it's just more fun to steal THEIR ribbon than use my own!! and I was very thankful that Melanie brought the latest issue of Scrapbook Trends because I pretty much "borrowed" a piece of every layout. I think each time I head out for a weekend retreat, I'll pick up the latest copy of Scrapbook Trends from now on...Why think when someone else can do it for you??

Hope you are laughing this weekend!

I'm still here...

2011-11-25T10:53:00.001-06:00

one year ago today Dr. Spell's office called...luckily Shane answered...they had received the results of my liver and lymph node biopsy and wanted us to come in for the results...and the nurse told Shane not to let me come alone...

I was oblivious....still thinking we were ruling out things to get to the real problem...I can't even imagine how agonizing the two hours were for Shane between the phone call and our appointment...

It's been a hell of a year...Most of the time it doesn't seem real, and there are times when I actually forget, but one glance in the mirror at my bald head always brought me back to reality...It wasn't until Shane Googled "Stages of Lymphoma" that we realized having lymphoma in your lymph nodes, liver and spleen meant Stage Four...and if I had believed what I read in those first few days, I would have given up and succumbed to the inevitable...but Dr. Spell ALWAYS said I would make it...he said it would suck (and he didn't lie), but he NEVER gave us any doubt...We stopped all Internet searches very early on - a VERY important lesson...

I learned many valuable lesson this year...You can probably guess that slowing down to enjoy the small things (especially the small people) - tops the list...I could lecture on this, but I can understand that unless something traumatic happens to someone, it's really a difficult lesson to embrace...

Chemo sucked...but there was always something to laugh about - most often myself...and laughing ALWAYS helps...

Laughing is wonderful, and if you aren't laughing, you can at least smile...and I've learned that when you are bald, there is one ESSENTIAL fashion accessory...

I am much less judgemental now...I've realized that unless you are in someone else's shoes, you have no idea what they may be dealing with...now I cut people more slack and take a lot more deep breaths...

And now I smile when people ask, "Is everything back to normal?"...They don't get it, because life will NEVER be "back to normal"...I have a new normal and it is VERY different from one year ago...but when days are difficult (as many still are)... Instead of wallowing, I concentrate on one thing...

and I wake up, put a smile on my face, and welcome a new day....over and over again....I hope you do too...

Only in my dreams...

2011-11-25T08:28:00.001-06:00

if I close my eyes and really concentrate...this is what I see around my house...

susieharrisblog.com

farleykids.blogspot.com

oh, I give up...I can visualize these better if I am napping....and since all of these images are pinned on Pinterest, I'm sure I'll get to them...one day...

Sweet Niblets...

2011-11-24T19:01:00.001-06:00

And by that, I mean delicious food that my mom cooked and brought to my house...Being totally stuffed leaves me very little energy for anything except "pinning" or blogging, so I here I go...

I set my table using my china for the second time in the fourteen years I've had it...Googled "Place Setting Diagram" to remember how....Before Google I would have had to walk ALL THE WAY upstairs and get the Emily Post book from the bookshelf, then use the Index to find the page on Table Setting...Google is so much easier, and allows me to be SO much lazier....

Even though I took Home Ec at Mt. Carmel, I'm pretty sure "Table Setting" is a use or lose it kind of thing...

I would appreciate it if you didn't mention the lack of stemware...I just left that near the wine...exactly where it should be....

In true Thanksgiving Spirit, we had an Indian present....

A Large Bow Wearing Indian named Hannah along with Avery...and our new dog Coco....no, I didn't stutter, I did say "Our New Dog", and yes, poor Coco looks terrified...she's had bouts of terror since her arrival on Tuesday evening...but she's warming up to us....me especially...

I'm convinced Coco thrives on neglect, because she has chosen ME as her new BFF, and really, I'm the least likely person in this house to go all gaga over her...She actually stood outside the shower and cried the ENTIRE time today...really, can't make this up....

But Avery and Morgan are THRILLED and I'm happy that they are happy...Could this smile be any bigger? But what melted my heart was when Morgan said, "Mommy, is this a dream?"

So I'm full, thankful that my mom did all the cooking and practically all of the cleaning, happy that my girls are in love with our new dog Coco and REALLY looking forward to my 3am wake up call from Coco's cries...funny that I'm the only one that hears her at 3am...funny in a "not so funny kinda way"

Hope you laughed your way through Thanksgiving! We did...I mean, mostly we were laughing AT people...but hey, they're family...what did they expect, right?

Got to post the highlights from my NYC trip next, maybe during one of the 3am wake up calls....

Hoping for Infection...

2011-11-05T18:41:00.001-05:00

oh boy...my life has had some twists and turns, and I just never know what might be next...

Friday I awoke with swelling in my lower leg accompanied by red splotches...no big deal, right?? Remember, I'm a CPA and the only thing I know about medicine is that sometimes I can deduct medical expenses on a tax return...

The pain stinks, so I mention it to a few people...how does everyone else just KNOW this could be a blood clot??? Did I miss the memo? What the hell is a blood clot anyway????

By the time I get dressed for the appointment, the pain/swelling and redness has spread up my calf, so in preparation for someone looking at my leg, I shave only the bottom half, good enough, right?

I get to the doctor to find out that blood clots and cellulitis (an infection) look similar...and to check for the clot I need an ultrasound...I also do some blood work to pursue the infection possibility...

so here's where it gets ridiculous...I'm sitting alone in the room waiting for the ultrasound tech...I'm freaking out because I have NO IDEA what you do if you have a blood clot...Shane is in Brazil, Ashley is in Savannah, and my mom has all four of our kids since I'm at the doctor...Naturally I start to cry, partly because I'm scared shitless and partly because I sitting there hoping for an infection...my life is such a circus that I am praying for an INFECTION!

After the ultrasound that started in the GROIN of both legs...remember, I only shaved knee down so I am mortified...I finally start breathing again when I find out its only an infection...

So I'm home, with antibiotics and four cuckoo girls upstairs playing "Fashion Show". Best part of the day was getting some beautiful shots of my girls...

Thank God for these girls...and infections!!

Disgusted...

2011-11-01T21:05:00.000-05:00

I'm not a reality TV junkie...I occasionally check out people.com when I'm thoroughly bored...Of course I glance at the trashy magazine covers while in line at the grocery store...Truthfully I know very little about celebrity gossip/drama...

But today, I was ~~riveted~~ thoroughly bored while listening to continuing ed on the web...so I opened a new window to people.com... Every headline was about Kim Kardashian's divorce filing...for some reason this has completely revolted me...

Last week I was in a doctor's waiting room (this should come as no surprise) and the TV was tuned to an interview with Kim and Kris... and of course she was complaining about all the work she had to do to prepare for the wedding...her three Vera Wang gowns...the Wolgang Puck menu...blah blah blah...

I just THOUGHT I was disgusted then...fast forward to today when after 72 days she files for divorce...

Are the producers of her show embarrassed? Because they must realize that while there are true problems in the world that could be helped by an influx of funds, but instead they financed this debacle? I don't know the price tag on the wedding, or who actually picked up the tab, but I can imagine KK didn't spend much of her own money. Is Vera Wang embarrassed that she got caught up in the hype too? along with every other person's whose name is now tainted by association with the KK "wedding"...if you dare call it that??

I prefer not to do any actual research because I'm scared to find out that KK's following might even be stronger now...and that thought is so depressing that I can't face it...

I find comfort in the fact that my world does NOT revolve around attention grabbing, fame hungry people...but it sickens me that I'm probably in the minority...I am going to go to sleep with my (mostly) sweet little girls tonight, thankful that they don't know the likes of KK and her circus...

a few new layouts

2011-10-02T13:21:00.001-05:00

I've done a little scrapbooking lately. It's so much more fun with friends, and I was lucky enough to get together with some last month.

my precious niece and nephew, Mia and Nick...

my Mother-in-Law is a huge Saints fan....Can you tell?

another Christmas layout...(using my Scrap-n-Easel to put everything together)

one of my favorites...four orange smiles!!

and my niece Hannah's Pre-K Graduation

Thanks for looking! Hope your weekend is filled with laughs!

Thank you Aibileen

2011-09-23T21:45:00.000-05:00

I finally saw The Help today and it was amazing...But what struck me most were the simple yet powerful words Aibileen said to Mae...

I can't imagine there is a child in the world who couldn't benefit from hearing these words...and that made me evaluate how well I show my girls that they are important, and I think I do an ok job, but how easy is it to TELL them "You are kind, you smart and you are important" and in a world so obsessed with beauty, I want to validate them in ways that don't deal with physical beauty. I think I might add "You are strong" the list...

So I repeated Aibileen's words to Avery tonight (using correct grammar of course), and I made her repeat them to me...then I had to explain what important meant...and then we watched a thrilling Hello Kitty movie... and 20 minutes later Avery took my face in her hands and said, "Mommy, I'm kind, I'm smart, I'm important, and I love you more"...and I melted...

So thank you Aibileen for giving me something important to share with my girls... If they grow up believing that they are kind, smart, important and strong, then Shane and I have succeeded...

According to Avery...

2011-09-18T22:23:00.000-05:00

"Noodle" shirts are her favorite (also know as spaghetti straps)...

Earlier when we were riding bikes she told me she was using her abdominal muscles, but she prefers to call them her "McDonald muscles" because its funnier...

And lastly, when Shane asked her if she wanted to play soccer, she responded with: "not in a million years"

maybe she is my daughter after all...

Yes, Virginia, chemo curls are real...

2011-09-12T17:34:00.000-05:00

and here's the proof...

Heather before chemo...

and Heather after chemo...

and I really thought people were exaggerating about this whole curly hair thing...clearly I was mistaken...

My first post-chemo PET scan came back clear today. I certainly don't think about cancer returning on a daily basis, but somehow when you're awaiting PET scan results, it kind of consumes you! Three months down, 4 years and 9 months to go...and then I'll be a Survivor in my mind...and we'll REALLY party!!

just routine...

2011-09-11T12:05:00.000-05:00

Not much happening at the Bellanger house...just loving the cooler weather...

homework, friends, soccer and tumbling...that's our new routine, and I'm thankful for not missing one minute!

Morgan turned 8 in August and a few Dutchtown High School Cheerleaders were on hand to help her celebrate...

I am rearranging my scrapbook room again, and that means the creative juices are starting to flow again. Got some cropping in yesterday, and I want to keep the streak alive...

We have Morgan's first soccer game this afternoon - loving that the weather is so nice...

Routine around here, and I LOVE routine for a change!!

Hope your routine is filled with a few laughs!

For a stormy weekend...

2011-09-02T12:30:00.001-05:00

We are preparing for a wet Labor Day weekend, but I will remember this...

so just like last night, I will laugh as I watch my girls play in the rain...in bathing suits...

Hope you find something to laugh about this weekend.

Snack Lady...

2011-08-26T20:10:00.000-05:00

So today I stepped into the world of School Volunteer...I have always wanted to get involved with the girls' school, but I always thought of a million reasons why I couldn't commit...Fast forward to the post-cancer world, and I realized my girls are only going to want me at school for a little longer...There will quickly come the day that my appearance on the school campus will cause a panic attack and the silent treatment...

So I signed up to be a Snack Sale Volunteer. Once a month the parent's organization sells snacks at recess to raise money for the school...easy enough, right??

I could KICK myself for not doing this sooner!! Those toothless smiling faces were the cutest, most precious things in the world! I can't count how many times I heard, "It's Morgan and Avery's mom!!" followed by a sweet smile or an even sweeter sweaty hug!!

Don't take this as a signal that I'm making a career change though...it was great for three hours...but I know that those 20+ cute faces, wouldn't look as cute to me after 7 hours in the classroom...It takes a very special person to be a teacher and my hat is off to them! Today was a great reminder to....

Hope you have a great weekend!

Cancer Sucks...

2011-08-14T21:40:00.000-05:00

There is a woman that I have never met...but she "met" me through my blog...a mutual friend sent her to my blog when her brother was suffering from cancer...

She placed this sign on her Spanish Town float...

she did this, and remember we have never met...

I found out today that her brother Kevin died this morning. So tonight I cry for her and her family...because Cancer Sucks...

Cheap and Easy...

2011-08-12T14:58:00.000-05:00

Imagine how many people will Google "Cheap and Easy" and be sorely disappointed when this blog post pops up....SORRY....

Back to the point...I really am Cheap and Easy...to entertain, that is...It started today when I left work early...and me leaving work early should not surprise you...I have the attention span of a flea!

So I am wandering through the book aisle at Sam's and I'm wanting to pile like 6 books into my basket...but I am WAY to cheap for that...6 bucks a piece times 6 books...oh no...not happening...now if I was purchasing books on children's anxiety or "How to raise a perfectly mannered child" I would spare no expense...but these are for me, and they aren't exactly the "classics"...so I decide to go to the library....which freaks me out a little if I think about the boogery fingers that have read the books before me...so I try to block those out...

I could easily lose a day in the library...I can't name one author or title that I checked out today...I generally end up choosing the books that are in the "NEW" section or placed strategically at the end of an aisle to entice you to read them...yep, those librarians get me every time...Today I chose two of the books on the end caps, and I REALLY wanted to put new books in their place, then I thought that maybe the librarians LIVE for that kind of stuff, so I didn't ruin their fun...Five books for Free for the next two weeks...SWEET...just enough trash to read before falling asleep at night, but hopefully nothing good enough to make me want to stay up all night reading...that is a VERY fine line, my friend...

After the library, I went to the card aisle at Walgreens...I do prefer Target for card shopping, but I figured Walgreens would do...and I was not disappointed...I could read cards for hours...again...cheap and easy...in fact, while I was reading... and laughing at cards, one man actually commented that I must have found some really good cards...I wasn't laughing that loudly...I don't think....but laughs are contagious and he started laughing simply because I was...that is my favorite part about a laugh...contagiousness (it's a word, I think...)

So now I'm home, ready to read a book for a little bit before the girls get home from school. I really wanted to meet them for lunch today, but with the traffic I would have missed Avery's lunch time, and made it just in time for Morgan's...that would have been ugly...so I had to skip lunch, but then I REALLY wanted to check them out of school early, but I remembered this isn't summer camp, they are supposed to be present...damn...so here I wait for them to get home....

how can I not want to hang out with these faces....

after running off the bus on the first day, these are the comments I got:

Morgan: "School was awesome!!!!"

Avery: "There was no playtime...It was not fun at all..."

ahhh...the joys of school...hope you found something to laugh about today....

Camping....

2011-08-05T13:09:00.000-05:00

Call it Peer Pressure, A Moment of Insanity, Post Cancer "Don't Miss a Thing" attitude...whatever...

but the Bellangers are going camping with 13+ other families... and by camping, I mean a cabin at Jellystone Campground in Robert, LA...I don't want you to think I'm sleeping in a tent...as Avery says, "that would be just plain silly..."

Now that packing day has arrived, I'm realizing that a room at the Ritz would have been a MUCH better idea...Bring your own toilet paper??? Huh? Are you serious? I am a CITY GIRL! My idea of "roughin' it" is Motel 6... they at least provide toiletries and what I hope are clean linens!

My girls are having a similar problem grasping this concept...Avery dressed in a dress, fancy headband and a sparkly watch...until I explained to her that she had to change...poor Avery...

It's one step forward and two steps back with this packing thing...I had a laundry basket filled with towels and sheets for the trip, and my precious Morgan put everything away...she was just helping with the laundry...didn't know whether I should hug her or cry...so I took a Xanax...everything is good now...

Big Daddy may have taken care of the "outdoor" things: fishing poles, firewood, oh hell, I don't even know what else...(it just feels right to call Shane "Big Daddy" when we are going camping)

But I took care of the necessities: Bug Spray, Sunscreen, Benadryl, Chips, Cookies and...Skinny Girl Margaritas, Firelfy Vodka and Michelob Ultra!!! We'll be just fine :)

May the insanity begin!!

Overheard today...

2011-08-04T18:29:00.000-05:00

As if I wasn't even in the car, Morgan and Avery had the following conversation today...

Avery: I wish Daddy could come home before we go to sleep. He never does...
Morgan: Do you still love Daddy?
Avery: Yep...
Morgan: We spend a lot of time with Mommy and she makes all the rules and she punishes us when we don't be good, but I still love her...the same as I love Daddy...
Avery: I love Mommy too. But I really love that Daddy doesn't punish us...

In Shane's defense, he normally gets home before bedtime, but it's just been REALLY busy at work lately. And I would have corrected Morgan when she said "we don't be good", but then they would have remembered I was in the SAME car and my ears work! And I really wanted to find out how I compared to Daddy in the "love" department...

Glad we are "neck and neck"...

Just one of my laughs for the day!!

PS - yesterday I took the girls to see Ramona and Beezus. Have you seen it? Did you cry through the second half of the movie? Of course you didn't!! I'm the only emotional wreck who did that...But don't try to tell me the Dead Cat scene wasn't a tearjerker!!!

Hope you are laughing this week!!

breakfast with the Bellangers

2011-08-02T10:44:00.000-05:00

the girls have been awake for 2 hours...and they have eaten:

veggie sausage
Golden Grahams with Soy Milk
steamed carrots
wilted spinach
and edamame

And, no, I didn't force feed them...I offered pancakes and waffles, but they chose the sausage and cereal and edamame...I happened to be making the spinach and carrots, so they asked for that too...

I know I am lucky to have such good eaters, but they don't really know anything different...who says it's a crime that they have never eaten real sausage??

before you start feeling sorry for them...look at these faces!!

See...they are happy!! I am loving these weeks with the girls...thank goodness they are going back to school, or I might never go back to work!!

back to basics...

2011-07-25T12:29:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not, this blog's purpose in 2007 was scrapbooking. I was teaching classes, and this was a way to announce classes and post layouts....Fast forward...my blog posts have changed, but so has life...

Today I'm going back to my roots and posting some scrapbook layouts (I have nothing else to talk about... call this a filler...)

Click here for one of my first posts...My babies were BABIES!!

Here is the layout of our family portraits taken in December 2010...

Shane's favorite holiday...

the Lymphoma fundraiser "Wiggin' Out"...

so as not to bore people who aren't remotely interested in scrapbooking, the rest of the layouts can be found here...

Mommy Camp started today...I LOVE sleeping until 8:30!! Tommorrow - Audubon Zoo...Last night we swam until 8pm...The neighbors may never speak to us again after hearing "MARCO", "POLO" for two straight hours...but we had fun...here are my goofballs in new bathing suits from Daddy...

hope you have a laugh filled week!!

it's always funny....

2011-07-20T16:59:00.000-05:00

no matter how often they do it...

it always make me laugh...

even the "mullet"

the blanket works too....

the wig...it just keeps on giving....

the joys of motherhood...

2011-07-13T18:59:00.000-05:00

and having girls 15 months apart...see, they are inseparable...except when they hate each other...which just happens to be 45% of the time...but even when they are fighting they can't stand to be separated... the ultimate punishment is "separate room timeouts"...

I have even caught them "facetiming" each other after being separated for fighting... (if you aren't technologically savvy...Facetime is a way to "call" other kids with I-Touches...ridiculous...but no one asked me...)

Back to the story...Morgan was invited to a friend's house tomorrow...yeah for Morgan...boo hoo for Avery...wait, let me rephrase - hysteria from Avery!! Only complicated by the fact that Avery HATES camp...or rather, she doesn't hate camp as much as she hates GOiNG to camp. We've made it through the past three mornings without crying because I promised her a frog...or a sleepover...I've lost track, but I did stop short of a dog...

So Avery won't be going to camp tomorrow... which would be fine if I sat home and ate bon bons while watching my "stories"...but there are these tax returns waiting for me, and I had high hopes for this week...especially since I've already promised that next week will be their last week for camp...which means a complete hault on tax productivity between July 25 and August 9...(if you are a client reading this, I suggest emailing me with your emergency next week - I have high hopes for next week...)

So I have totally lost my train of thought...I'm distracted by Morgan and a friend leading an imaginary group in water aerobics while Avery and friend try to make the biggest splash in the pool...

I should probably just wrap this up by saying how appreciative I am of my precious girls...because complaining is allowed as long as you remember to be thankful, right?? Or is that just a Catholic guilt thing? Hell, I don't know...I do know that when my sister Ashley reads this she will call me and yell, "Just send her ass to camp!" but I can't - I'm a pansy...especially when it comes to my girls...

Anne Taintor...

2011-07-12T08:09:00.000-05:00

I have been remiss in posting Anne Taintor photos...Why, when they make me laugh so much?!?

I was preoccupied this year, and I didn't order my Anne Taintor calendar - now THAT won't happen again!!

for more, click here - Hope Anne makes you Laugh Out Loud today!!

More Tennessee highlights....

2011-07-10T16:00:00.000-05:00

now back to my "boring for most of you" vacation photos...

I may have succeeded in passing on the "flea market frenzy" to the girls... Here we are in Sweetwater, TN...I have NO CLUE what animal was used to make this "wrap"...I would not touch it! Avery on the other hand....

Morgan loves a little dress up time...she was bummed when she found out the hat was $100...

and both were girls were AMAZED that my Great Grandma Hazel had this exact rotary dial telephone...I was cracking up watching their little fingers try to figure out the dial...

here is one of my favorite pics from Gatlinburg...

it's almost impossible to get both M & A to smile at the same time - they are constantly trying to "out goofy" each other ...as shown here...

It wasn't until the sixth day that I realized I should get in a picture and prove that I was, in fact along for the ride...

and speaking of rides...

Momma's gettin' a new set of wheels!!!

Welcome Home....

2011-07-09T18:31:00.000-05:00

Vacations are wonderful....but that first nap back in your own bed is priceless (mine was two hours)!!

On the 12+ hour drive home...besides losing the shred of sanity I had left, I asked the girls to name the best and worst parts of vacation. It was unanimous....the 25 hour car ride was the worst (even the adults agree)...from now on the Bellangers are flying! In fact, if I ever mention a driving trip over five hours, please remind me of this vacation!

Thankfully, the girls rattled off lists of "favorites"...for Avery, it was the cheesy simple things....holding the lamb at the smelly petting zoo, riding the pony at the same smelly petting zoo, finding a rabbit outside of our hotel and seeing fireflies for the first time, petting the horses at Dixie Stampede and the dogs in the Comedy Barn show, organizing her rocks into colors after "panning for gold", and having a fish splash her in the face in the Lost Sea...

Morgan's list included the pig races at Dixie Stampede, playing with Emily and Maddie in Knoxville, getting a full bag of Maddie's "hand me down" shoes, the scary ostrich eyes at the petting zoo, hiking Grotto Falls, putting her bare feet in the cold waterfall, and the rock climbing at Wonder Works...

Our lack of planning drove Morgan into daily panic attacks. Morgan requires a daily itinerary with exact times, places, menus and activities. She may never vacation with us again. We may need to send her on old folks bus trips from now on....

And what vacation would be complete without daily pancakes and the Salt and Pepper Museum with over 20,000 sets of shakers....
Both girls have started wish lists for the next vacation...

Here are a few of the highlights....

a bear shaped waffle...

PANCAKES!!!

Morgan found this sign... and thought it was hysterical!

pony rides...

with our friends...

inside the caves of the Lost Sea...

Avery's new friend...she was hoping to sneak him in the car...

more photos to come....but I need to figure out how to make dinner out of the three ingredients in the house... eggs, ground turkey and rice....what's the number to Papa John's?????

the english language...

2011-06-26T08:59:00.001-05:00

In college, I volunteered in the ESL (English as a Second Language department)...besides dreaming that I would be swept off my feet by some dark and handsome foreign student, taken back to his native country and live in his palace...wait, I digress...

Anyway...I realized just how difficult is was for an adult (one who was mature enough to question the nuances) to conquer the English language...I also learned that in Turkey, people drink hot coffee in the summer to stay cool...making no sense to me to this day...I loved the ESL students...to me they were so adventurous...by my junior year in college I had been fortunate enough to have travelled to Europe twice and I was certain that I would be an ex-pat one day...fast forward...the man of my dreams was actually a Louisiana boy...not a European aristocrat...and the rest is history...

Here are a few things I found on Pinterest that grammatically speaking...just make me laugh...

the difference an "o" and a pronoun can make...

the English language gift of onomatopoeia (why does it have to be such a beast to spell)

who can resist a good palindrome??

and lastly...this may be the best use of an idiom...

Hope your weekend is full of laughs!

excuse the delay....

2011-06-21T01:07:00.000-05:00

I'm sure you are waiting with baited breath for the race results, but the Father's Day festivities and today's 4 hour post-surgery anesthesia nap caused the delay....

the race was adorable (and by that I mean REALLY early and hot)...here are a few pre-race shots...

to prevent race injuries, Parker led the group in pre-race stretching...

the girls were neck and neck...

Parker takes a more relaxed approach...checking out the landscape, squirrels, dogs...

and even veering off of the course to hug GiGi...

due to humidity induced dehydration, not an emotional post race tear was shed...

back at house (60 miles away), Ashley and I slaved over the steak, shrimp and chicken fajitas (Izzo's), prepared 4 different cheesecake flavors to delight everyone's palate (Sam's) and then catered to our precious husbands for the afternoon

it was a perfect Father's Day...

for two very special fathers!!

greetings from the road...

2011-06-19T10:56:00.000-05:00

Allow me to introduce myself... My name is Heather...I'm a wife, mother, cancer survivor... NOT a morning person...somehow I can't stress this particular character trait enough...

So when Ironman decided to do a Father's Day run in New Orleans with the girls, I figured I was set to sleep the morning away...until it became an EVENT...

See Ashley's husband Collin decided to run with Hannah and Parker, and Ashley being a mere newlywed (at 7 years compared to my 13) was going along for the "fun"...then my mom joined in...

Holy bejeesus...now I was looking like "that wife"... You know...the one that doesn't wake up at the crack of dawn (5:04 to be exact) to support her husband...the precious father of her children...on Father's day...

So here we go...off in the family Econoline van (ok, maybe it's a Tahoe)...to make the trek to NOLA...and why are NOLA races are soooo much better than Baton Rouge ones?? (ya know, the ones in our actual city...not the city 60 miles away)

I predict that as Ironman and the girls cross the finish line I will hide my emotional mess behind my sunglasses and camera...see I've become quite the crier these days...happy tears that I am in fact alive to witness such monumental activtities as the Father's Day run (or the Cheer Camp Show-Off, Hannah's graduation, taking out the trash....it's getting a little ridiculous...)

Hope your Sunday morning is not nearly as eventful as this one....but I do hope it is filled with laughs (and bacon, eggs, biscuits, pancakes....wait, did we just pass a Cracker Barrell.....???)

as far as dads go....

2011-06-18T23:13:00.000-05:00

Ironman is the BEST!!!

hope you're spending the day with your "top dad"!

Surgery scheduled...

2011-06-15T22:22:00.000-05:00

So I guess the final chapter in this story is here...

My medi-port is coming out on Monday - I should be celebrating, but instead I broke down in tears at the appointment this morning...

It's so weird when I think about it...before the cancer diagnosis I felt perfectly fine...I had absolutely no warning signs, and recently I was reminded how many people told me that I was "too young for lymphoma"... before the results were in of course...

and now...after chemo left just enough alone to keep me alive...I am cured...but to what expense?

I'm tired, weak, and emotionally depleted...my girls have been put through the ringer (thankfully Shane and I have an appt with a child psychologist next week to determine when to say "toughen up" and when to give the extra TLC...it's a fine line, I'm sure...)

I know I need to be patient...and I'm trying...but couldn't it just hurry up already??? I'm going to snuggle in bed with my oldest trooper who needs just a little extra TLC tonight...

I promise to be more appreciative very soon....just be patient....

I'm obsessed....

2011-06-15T21:35:00.001-05:00

Today I saw an "LSU family". I wish I could have gotten closer...but they had the purple "LSU finger" and LSU shirts...classic!

and after getting in this fancy schmancy raft today, Morgan exclaimed, "now this is the good life"

yes, my sweet girl, it is...and you deserve it!

this week's observations...

2011-06-11T19:15:00.001-05:00

I went to the pharmacy this week and snapped a picture of the vehicle in front of me...

do I even need to comment? I mean, really? Have you counted the children?...yep six....I SO wish I had snapped a picture of the "Catholic fish" on the other side of the car!! The only thing that would make this better was if they all had Mickey Ears...

Quick story which will actually probably run on for awhile...Ashley and I went to lunch on Friday, after lunch we walked to Office Depot in the same strip mall, after shopping we were waiting to hear from Jen (she had our cheerleaders)...So we sought repose on a sweet little bench in said strip mall...Picture two harmless women sitting on a bench - one obviously weaker than the other having just survived cancer...And just then the big bad security guard comes out of one of the stores and tells us to move, evidently we aren't allowed to sit on the bench...Ummm...Was the bench on the walkway of a strip mall really private property? So if you ever find yourself in said strip mall, be sure NOT to sit on the bench in front of said store with the big burly security guard...I have a visual to assist with this lesson....

Naturally I snapped a picture of the "incident" knowing that it would become a blog post, and after I took the picture, the owner (I guess) of the store, came out and asked me why I had taken a picture...Ashley tried to be nice and told her we liked her bench - sweet Ashley..., when she asked if we really like her bench, I said, "No, but your security guard just make us get off of your bench, and I wanted to take a picture of it". She replied with, "what - are you going to "send it in somewhere and report me"?" I didn't lie when I said no, I just didn't mention my upcoming blog post...

so anyway, I'm just doing my part to educate my fellow blog readers on the "bench laws"...

hope you are having a great weekend - I've accomplished nothing, and I'm quite content with that...

You know you are a cancer survivor....

2011-06-06T21:00:00.000-05:00

when your idea of a "haircut" is having your husband shave the back of your neck...

Or better yet....When the PET Scan comes back ALL CLEAR!!!!! I did say SURVIVOR....That was the news I got today. Dr. Spell told me to go out and start living life again....thank you very much - I don't mind if I do! Feels surreal...what was like life 6 months ago? oh yeah...different!! It will take some time to adjust to this "new normal", but I'm up to the challenge!

In this whole celebration theme, my Goddaughter Hannah graduated from Pre-K on Friday...

We took the girls too see Shrek in NOLA on Saturday (thanks to some super friends who treated us to the tickets as a post-cancer celebration). Although I couldn't take pictures inside the theater (the ushers even remind you not to photograph your children in the seats - what is this world coming too?!?), I did snap some powdered sugar faces at Cafe' du Monde after the show....yummmmy beignets - Avery's idea of course - her idea of a balanced meal is edamame, brownies, cookies and ice cream - luckily she has Shane's metabolism!

The girls started Cheer Camp today at Dutchtown High School....good morning excuses...

Avery: "My tummy hurts, I don't think I can go to Cheer Camp...I should probably just go to work with you instead..."

Morgan: "Mommy, I throw up when I'm nervous, and I think I'm going to throw up"...note: the ONLY time she has ever vomited was from a stomach virus - definitely NOT nerves

Seriously - where do they come up with this stuff? My sister Jen is one of the Cheer Moderators at DHS, therefore she was at camp. She called at 11am with the news that Avery was hysterical until Hannah showed up (luckily 10 minutes after us) and only calmed down when she changed Hannah to Avery's group - thank goodness one girl in the family is fearless!!

They had a fantastic time at Cheer Camp - and I'm sure I will go to sleep to "Attack, Attack, Attack, Purple, Silver and Black!" I found this a little while ago - it's Nervous Nelly's "cheer notes"...

go ahead and do a little cheer (the arm movements are noted at the top)!!

Beware - Radioactive Girl here...

2011-06-01T21:08:00.000-05:00

I had a PET Scan today - the first of my quarterly scans over the next few years. This is one I've been waiting on - to get the "you really don't have any more cancer" news. This scan was different from my last two scans. I got an IV this time and got injected with radioactive "stuff" twice during the scan - here's the kicker....I was warned to keep the girls away from me (ie - don't let them sit on my lap or next to me) for the day...I didn't realize how much I hug the girls and pull them onto my lap until today!!

and I don't want to alarm them and tell them Mommy went "Chernobyl" on them, so I just keep casually moving away...

Avery did ask me, "Did they tell you the cancer was all gone?" I had to break the news that I don't get the results until Monday... she didn't understand that at all!

Mommy camp...

2011-06-01T10:47:00.000-05:00

The girls took a break from camp this week to hang out with me...It took an hour for Morgan and Avery to agree on an outing yesterday...the verdict....BUGS!! So by 11 we were in the car headed to the Insectarium...of course Shane had to throw a little wager into the mix - offering Morgan $2 if she ate a bug...

as soon as Morgan ate the chocolate covered cricket she dialed Daddy...of course I had to give her the $2 for the gift shop! (notice the stamp on her hand that reads "I ate a bug")

the butterfly garden is so beautiful...

then, a "Mommy stop" at the 2 story Anthropologie at Canal Place...love!

And what was the highlight of Avery's day? Petting the puppy at the Pet Store in Lakeside Mall - for the bargain price of $2 - yep, you really have to pay $2 to pet the puppies - luckily a friend had tipped me off, so I had the $2 ready!

and you just never know who you will run into at the mall...At another "Mommy stop" - Restoration Hardware...we found my aunt, "NeeNee" to my girls....

and no stop in Metairie is complete without a visit to see Chuck at Ms. Angel's house.

poor Chuck...three little girls plus one dog equals dog in tutu!

hope you are having this week too! (I'm off for my first quarterly PET Scan - results next week)

Summer is here!!

2011-05-31T09:28:00.000-05:00

For the last 7 weeks, we have been waiting...impatiently...for this...

sure, most kids might wait for the pool to be full, but not mine...the plaster was finished on Thursday and the water started to climb...with the help of two little girls who just couldn't wait...

the girls have been in the pool everyday since then, and yesterday we spent the day in the sun (sunscreen required)...

I'm filling the freezer with hot dogs and pizza, because little bellies get very hungry in the pool!!!

Hope you had a great Memorial Day too!

nervous nelly...

2011-05-30T10:08:00.000-05:00

Before cancer, Morgan and I were neck and neck in the "worry" race...Along with the HELL, cancer gave me a new perspective, but poor Morgan didn't get the memo...She still worries about EVERYTHING!!! I went to Lafayette on Thursday and Friday, and here is a sampling of her Thursday morning worries:

She walks into the bathroom and says, "I thought you said we were leaving early today...It's not early..When are you going to be ready?" (it was two hours earlier than the previous mornings)

In the car: "What is the speed limit? It doesn't feel like you are going 45 - it feels like 70. Are you sure you are going 45?"

"Are you sure you can drop us off at camp this early?" (Camp starts at 6:30am and I was dropping them off at 8am)

"Does Daddy know what to pack in our swim bags tomorrow?"

"Does Daddy know how the camp carpool line works? Does he have the sign with our names on it?"

Morgan may drive me back to meds! I'm sure there is a way that I could respond to her that might alleviate some of her anxiety - I just need to find out how. How sick is it that I am thinking about visiting a child psychologist about Morgan's anxiety? Quite honestly, I figure if there is ANYWAY to reverse her mindset (lessen if I can't reverse), then I need to start as early as possible...

Maybe I should frame this for Morgan's room :)

how I waste my time...

2011-05-22T12:14:00.000-05:00

the internet...two sites specifically...pinterest and polyvore

I've blogged about these before...polyvore is where amateurs can pretend to be stylists, interior designers, fashionistas...I've been creating some fashion sets - hopefully to keep me motivated to stay on my "healthy eating plan"...once my goals are achieved - SHOPPING SPREE!!! here's a peek...

Naturally I will need to hire a personal shopper to actually find these items - but it's fun to dream!

now Pinterest...this site lets you "pin" (bookmark) things from all over the web into categories. I have all types of boards (categories) - Scrapbooking, My backyard, and Things that make me LAUGH (my favorite)

Unfortunately Pinterest doesn't let you cut and paste a category, so I can't show you one of mine, but you can check it out here

I'm gathering all of the "signs" for the end of my blog posts on a Pinterest Board

So when my blog goes for days without updates - now you know where I am...why don't you join me? addicts love company :)

The hangover...

2011-05-20T19:58:00.000-05:00

I need very little persuading to drown my stresses in a gluttony of food, and yesterday's "spot" provided me the perfect excuse. I have been following a healthy eating plan (can't say diet in front of the girls) for 2 weeks and I've lost 7 pounds. I was already breathing a little better and moving around a little easier. Its like every cell in my body was starting to release some of the fluid...and then, that damn "little spot"...

So I hit the Cheezits, Starbursts and some Easter chocolate and then topped it off with an extra dose of sleeping pill...Guess how I feel today? - ummm, Roadkill...
I slept until noon - thanks to that extra little pill...when I woke my back was as stiff as a board, and I think every cell has filled back up with fluid - good times!

But rather than wallow in more self-pity, I got back on the wagon foodwise and drowned myself with water today...At least I stopped the cycle...

I am feeling much better about the "little spot"...many of you shared my concern and also agreed that I should repeat the MRI periodically...Dr. Spell has the results, knows my concerns and agrees with retesting, so I feel like everything is under control. According to the neurologist, sometimes people who experience migraines develop a spot on the brain - I'm just not any old migraine sufferer since that whole cancer debacle! But modern medicine and a deluge of prayers have gotten me this far, I trust neither will fail me now!!

This week I realized that the two most important beauty products are under eye concealer and an eyebrow pencil. Since mother's day, I've been wigless - and its wonderful. Even better is that Morgan is getting more comfortable with the look. I think she only looked at me twice this week with the "you aren't going outside like that" face. Let me tell you, when your hair is 1/2 an inch - a big smile is not an accessory, its mandatory. Who doesn't look better with a smile, right? So I'm polishing my smile, drinking my water and starting over on the diet...

We all deserve a second chance...

Hope you have a fantastic weekend filled with laughs!

Just a little spot...

2011-05-19T13:46:00.000-05:00

That's what the neurologist said this morning when going over the results from my MRI. Then followed up with, "It's nothing - don't worry about it".

Let's see - I seem to remember hearing those words before, and it didn't end very well... I suggested to the neurologist that we maybe keep an eye on this "little spot" and retest at periodic intervals - but no, he said there was no need...

OK - maybe HE doesn't think there is a need, but it's MY brain here...and I also know how fast things go from Stage 1 to Stage 4...So what do I do? Walk right out of the building and call Dr. Spell (my oncologist) and leave a blubbering idiot-like message directing him straight to the fax machine for my MRI results

I only cried for half of the 50 minutes until Dr. Spell called me - pretty good, I think...He agreed that the spot is "nothing" but suggested that we recheck the "little spot" periodically...See - that's what I'm talking about...I like some reassurance periodically

If it was up to me, I'd have daily PET scans and MRIs - just to check...helps me sleep ya' know...

I might need to change neurologists, maybe to one who understands my need to sleep at night...

water everywhere...

2011-05-15T09:58:00.000-05:00

You've probably heard about the little Mississippi River flooding problem...well the water is heading South and is reaching some parts of Louisiana now and during the next two weeks...I took these pictures yesterday of the Bonnet Carre Spillway between Destrehan and LaPlace

There were police stationed at the area, and more than a few cars stopped to view the water...

In March when Shane did the Warrior Dash, the area below was the race site...as in NOT under water...

check out the TOPS of trees below...

look how close the water is to the road...Shane says normally this area is dry and dotted with picnic tables

The water should reach it's peak on May 23

Many Louisiana residents are preparing for flooding. My friend Anna Lisa's parents live in a specifically precarious area on a water bank...They have spent a week moving pictures and family heirlooms to safer, higher ground.

Side Note: One of Morgan's nicknames is "Morganza" and when people started talking about the opening of the Morganza Spillway, Morgan couldn't understand why all of the adults were talking about her...My Nervous Nelly...

I'll keep you posted on the rising water...and for all of the people affected by the flooding throughout the US...

A Dieter's Delight...

2011-05-12T09:49:00.000-05:00

Chemo hair loss - no problem...Chemo weight gain....WAY more disturbing...See for me, hair is an accessory - I've dyed it red, highlighted it, chopped it off, grew it long, and now lost it completely...so to me, it's like wearing earrings or not...no biggie...

But gaining 40 pounds (45 after the Mother's Crawfish Boil, thank you very much), is a blow to me...a girl who has struggled with her weight all of her life. Don't you just hate when you look back on pictures when you "thought you were overweight", and now just long to be that size again!!

So here I go again...sticking to a diet regime...passing up the Cane's chicken finger (and more importantly the sauce) and choosing the broccoli spear instead...

I'm not trying to sell you on this, people...I'm not quite sold myself...

I can totally admit that I'm a food whore...Given the choice of 2 ounces of my FAVORITE Cambozola Cheese at 200 calories (I discovered Cambozola 13 years ago on my honeymoon in Napa Valley, and, seriously, my life was forever altered) or 6 1/2 cups of salt-free, butter-free popcorn - give me the cardboard... I mean popcorn...I'm just a "more is more" kinda girl....

And this time, while I'm going all food healthy, I'm also keeping the "cancer diet" in mind. No matter which one you look at, everyone suggests sticking with plant based foods vs. animal based foods. So this week, I'm on the hunt for little changes - like instead of turkey on my Subway salad, a 1/2 cup of chick peas is about the same amount of calories and more filling...of course I have to actually remember to bring the chick peas to work FOR the salad....damn...that might be the hardest part...

Today I am armed with my chick peas, edamame, broccoli, 2 green teas and a Coke Zero- hey, I'm not perfect - this girls gotta have her "crack"

I'm also checking in with the One Weigh folks today for a little support on the "healthy eating" plan (I try not to say the word "diet" in front of the girls). Oh...funny story...in a twisted sick way...

We were driving home on Monday, and I was talking to the nurse at my Gastroenterologist's office. I told her that I would stop by and see her on Thursday when I was at the Digestive Health Center for the One Weigh meeting... and I mentioned the 40 pound weight gain...Later, when I attempted a walk around the block, Morgan, oh precious one, said, "Mommy, I bet it's hard to walk around the block since you gained 40 pounds..."

And just another reminder that your children HEAR and REMEMBER everything!!

I"ll keep you posted on my progress...see if I actually tell you that I'm trying...then the pressure is on...I can't just go all "Margarita and chips crazy"!!!

Tougher Morgan Questions...

2011-05-09T20:49:00.000-05:00

A few nights ago, Morgan came out with this whopper...

"So Mommy, since everyone says I look like you, does that mean I'm going to get cancer too?"

oh boy...that was a tough one...but it didn't prepare me for last night's question...

"Mommy, I know people die from cancer...so when are you going to die?"

OK - I bit my lip to keep from crying and explained that not everyone dies from cancer...and I am one of the lucky ones...I also told her that I fought very hard because I didn't want she and Avery to grow up without a Mommy...

so sorry teachers, but the girls got a "Mommy day" today, because sometimes I try anything to make up for the fact that my seven year old is faced with such mature issues...

and so for today, I'll go with this bit of wisdom...

fortunately our day was filled with laughs - and tonight we are piling into my bed for a "girls only" slumber party! hope your day was filled with laughter too!

Rainbows are Real...

2011-05-02T20:28:00.000-05:00

As I was talking to Dr. Spell today, I asked him about my next Rituxan treatment in 6 months...And I was overwhelmed by his response (like about to hug him overwhelmed)...

I found out that Lo-Grade Lymphoma (which seems less frightening, but really is the incurable kind) requires maintenance Rituxan every 6 months for 2 years, but Aggressive Lymphoma (sounds worse, but it is actually curable) only requires two maintenance Rituxan treatments - Guess what kind I have??? Aggressive...which means I AM DONE!!!! For once, I've done something right - I have the RIGHT KIND of lymphoma!

NO MORE STEROIDS!!! NO MORE FIVE HOUR TREATMENTS!!! NO MORE MEDI-PORT!!! I may finally sleep on my back again (without the use of sleeping pills)! You think when the surgeon removes the medi-port he might like to try his hand at plastic surgery?!?

This makes the sweating, the discomfort from the needle hitting a nerve, the hand, leg and foot cramps that have already dropped me to the floor today, and the drop in White Blood count that might hit on Wednesday even more tolerable this week...I had to share the GOOD NEWS with everyone!

To a girl who gained 40 pounds during Chemo - this means a return to healthy eating WITHOUT the interruption of steroids every 6 months...give me a break - I'm still a girl who would prefer to fit in her old clothes rather than buy more plus sized ditties...

And I have the perfect sign...

I hope you had an awesome day too!

Doctor Dread...

2011-05-01T19:36:00.000-05:00

oh, I thought these says were over...but not quite yet...tomorrow I get a dose of Rituxan - a FIVE hour dose...the Rituxan itself isn't bad, i'm just hoping the five day migraine doesn't follow like last time...

then Tuesday, I have an MRI to make sure the lymphoma hasn't spread to my brain...always a comforting thought...and even though my oncologist bets it hasn't, that's what everyone said a few months ago - and look what happened...

so I'll be putting on a brave face this week...for the girls...they can sense fear...they are like dogs that way...who knew dogs and children would have that same sixth sense...

I've been collecting cute sayings especially for days like this...I'll be reading them often...I hope you like them too...

I think a visit to Rue Beignet on Highland is in order after this week :)

Morganisms...

2011-04-30T14:40:00.000-05:00

You probably have heard me talk about how much I love lying with the girls as they drift off to sleep (I just looked up lying versus laying on Websters.com and I'm still not sure I used the correct one - why is that grammar lesson so hard to remember - ugh)...When it's my turn with Morgan, there is no telling what I will hear...The lights go out and that mouth starts talking! I'm such an easy target - she knows she can stay up at least 30 extra minutes if she starts talking...I bet she doesn't pull the same stunt with Daddy...I know I'm a sucker, but I love the hear what is running around in the head of hers...Here are a few of our recent conversations...

Morgan: "Mommy, can your Daddy see us from Heaven?"
Me: "Yes"
Morgan: (with her arms extended toward the ceiling) "Hello Mommy's Daddy. I know you can hear me. I really want to know what Heaven is like. You can tell me anytime, I'm waiting..."

another night...
Morgan: "Mommy, can we see where your Daddy is buried?"
Me: "Sure Morgan, but he was buried in New Orleans in a Mausoleum, so we'll see it the next time we are in NOLA"
After I explain to Morgan what a Mausoleum is, she says... "You put your Daddy in a WALL??? You are so mean!" Never mind that I was 12 when my dad died, and I didn't exactly buy the "real estate". She doesn't quite get the concept - thank goodness he wasn't cremated - could you imagine that conversation??

another night...and I couldn't hide the laughter...
Morgan: "Mommy...Do you know that there are TWO ways that a baby can get milk????? The bottle and... and...another way!! That is disgusting!! Please tell me I got my milk from a bottle!!! It's so gross - why do Mommys do that - yuck!"
I tried to explain that when she becomes a Mommy she will decide which way to feed her baby, but I think her mind may be made up...I'd love to see the "Lactation Consultant" try to change that stubborn mind!

and yet another night...
Morgan: "Mommy - I know I GREW in your belly - but HOW did I GET there???"
So I totally copped out on this one - I told her that I needed to read a book and find out the best way to explain it to her. She responded with: "You probably need to look it up in a book because you aren't very good at science" SCORE!!! She totally bought it - now hurry and send me any suggestions on how to explain the birds and bees to a 7 year old!

I'll keep you posted on the "best" of our pre-bed conversations...

Spring Break in Mississippi

2011-04-29T21:49:00.000-05:00

Mississippi is perfect for easy living…and such a cool state…I mean, what other state has a cool song like this...

“M I crooked letter crooked letter I crooked letter crooked letter I humpback humpback I”

I wonder if everyone learned to spell Mississippi with that song? Or is it just a Southern thing? Hmmm…maybe you’ll let me know…also, I remember in Grammar school, at the water fountain, we used to count:

“One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi” – and that was the maximum amount of time allotted for lapping up that precious water after recess… My girls timed me with the “one Mississippi” count a few days ago, so I guess it’s still alive and well...

My aunt and uncle have a wonderful house in Moss Point, MS, and for some reason they let us “borrow” it each year. The girls LOVE fishing and crabbing (we don’t really catch too much – the nets and poles are out of the water being “checked” most of the time).

This time, on the rainy day, the girls had a pool lesson and we went to the movie theater to watch “Hop”. Then, as all good parents do, we took the girls to the Hard Rock Casino for the buffet...

Kids 6 and under eat free – they obviously hadn’t met Avery when they instituted that rule! Avery ate her weight in shrimp, crab legs and dessert – all 40 pounds of her!

One afternoon was spent running in the sprinkler and playing with water "guns"...

We found the perfect beach and playground in Ocean Springs. It was an overcast windy day, but that didn’t stop Morgan and Avery from running after all of the birds.

We always stop at Shearwater Pottery in Ocean Springs -we are so excited that they are firing regularly again. When Shane and I got married 13 years ago, we had all of our everyday dishes/cups and mugs made at Shearwater. Luckily, through the years, only a few pieces have cracked - so now I can replace them. Also, Shane is collecting the Pirates, Avery is collecting the Dogs and Morgan is collecting the Panda Bears. I love that the girls are starting such a cool collection like Shearwater.

I almost forgot - a stop at The Shed for barbecue... I wasn't really in the mood for BBQ that afternoon, but I was overruled. So I ordered chicken nachos - thinking that was a good compromise - oh NO!!! there were baked beans on the nachos!! Yuck! But Shane and the girls love some Shed BBQ, so I had a cheese sandwich when we got back to the house. The girls LOVE the alligator at The Shed, here are some pics...

We made it home in time for me to set my alarm at 3:30 this morning for the Royal Wedding! Ah... so beautiful! Don't know when I will have the heart to delete it from the DVR list... and I found the "British Monarchy's" Flicker account from people.com - SWEET!! I am such a Royal Stalker - but how can I resist?!?

Hope your weekend is filled with laughs - I'm so glad we have two more "no school days"!!

A Week in Review...

2011-04-24T20:53:00.001-05:00

Wednesday I went on Avery's fieldtrip to the Strawberry Patch. We had such a great time!! The tears were streaming down my face on the drive home - not because of my swollen ankles, sweaty wig and aching back...but because I was so thankful to have been able to go on the fieldtrip with my Baby Bird Avery...

Thursday I got to see both of my girls at school - Easter Parties!

Friday we gathered for the Oustalet/Junca Crawfish Boil. I have to admit, I was hesitant to dive into the crowd when we arrived - I didn't know how well I would handle all of the "cancer talk". Thankfully (due to sunglasses) - the first two people didn't notice the tears welling up in my eyes...But it got better as the day went on...I was reminded by the questions that I have a 50% percent chance of the cancer coming back in three years - I could have lived without that reminder - I'm SO good at blocking those darn things out! Don't worry - I'm blocking it out again - and plus - the best revenge is living well!

Saturday we hung out with the Inman girls...

And Easter Sunday we gathered at GiGi's for gumbo and an Easter Egg Hunt...

And here's my beautiful family - alive and well!

Hope you had a fantastic Easter too!

recent happenings...

2011-04-18T16:49:00.001-05:00

So I made it through the first round of "maintenance Rituxan" (the drug that attacks the protein that Lymphoma makes). There were no "chemo" side effects, but I have had a migraine everyday since the treatment. Luckily I saw the neurologist and I have some good migraine meds...

On Friday night I was home alone while Shane took the girls to NOLA. I took a quick "make my migraine go away" nap and then I started scrapbooking. I'm fussing less over the details now, and enjoying the creative process more. Here are my layouts...

Then Saturday night, my cousin Kristy hosted a Fundraiser for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society at her art studio Color Me Nola. Everyone had to wear a wig, scarf or hat - and bring alcohol!! We had a blast and raised $400!

The icing on top of the cake was hanging with two of my oldest friends (ok - so I'm not calling them OLD, but I've known them longer than just about anyone else!) Jen and Meredith played BINGO with me during Shane's Bachelor party - told you - LONG TIME!! Next time we get together - it's BINGO for sure!!!

Naturally recovery is slower than I would like. Everyday I swallow down three Aleve with breakfast and a few more with dinner...that's just so I can get dressed and sleep... and at about 3 o'clock everyday I'm dying for a nap! Shane told me today that a co-worker who was receiving treatment with me just said the same thing to him - makes me feel a little more "normal" - in the post cancer world anyway...

A big step towards feeling like my old self is the appearance of hair...Thanks to Morgan, here is a picture of my "new locks" - ha!

here's Averybird modeling my wig - such a nut!

hope you are having a great week!

Update from a Cancer Survivor...

2011-04-12T18:33:00.000-05:00

So this is what life is like after cancer...I'm loving every minute of my new health!

So I went to the neurologist last week to get some medicine for my migraines, and let me tell you...my medical history is now more twisted that Bethenny's last therapy session...seriously, the nurse had to check back twice to see if I had finished... good news - got drugs, interesting news - I was introduced to the cancer patient life - TEST EVERYTHING!!! since my post-cancer migraines are completely different than the migraines I had for the previous 15 years, I'm having an MRI to make sure lymphoma hasn't spread to my brain...

I kind of felt like I cheated on my oncologist, so I fessed up. He did relieve that nagging anxiety about BRAIN cancer - telling me that when lymphoma spreads to the brain, the patient generally has major trouble - like speech impairment, or motor skill impairment, so I feel better - but still - I love the TEST EVERYTHING approach - safe and sound makes for a better night sleep!

another post-cancer development - HAIR!!! I have NEVER been so thankful to break out the razor and shave my legs! I also have a little growth on my head, and my sweet child Morgan has decided that I have a "mohawk"! I admit, it's a little spiky on the top and still flat on the sides, so she's not that far off - it just made me laugh when she said it!

Now picture this - my mom's friend Ali bought me the Nioxin hair products that help with hair re-growth. So there is this scalp stimulator and it says to spray on and leave on - it cautions that it could turn your scalp red and tingly...so I try it...while still in the shower, I sprayed it on my scalp...then I got out of the shower, did some laundry, loaded the dishwasher, chose my clothes for the day, and then noticed a warm, tingly sensation on my neck and back...hmmmm...

So I go to the bathroom mirror to find that the "stimulator" has dripped down my back, chest and into my armpits...and wherever it dripped it was BRIGHT RED and BURNING - so if you notice gorilla like hair growth on my back, chest or armpits - please try not to stare! go figure - it didn't make my scalp red OR tingly!!

On another note - FINALLY i am at the height of fashion - see, I recently read in a fashion magazine that runway models this season are bleaching their eyebrows to make them less noticeable - SCORE!!!! My eyebrows are sparse at best - see - height of fashion!! Now I just need to head to Sephora to fix the eyelash problem - ie - lack of them...but i did see how to apply them on "What Not To Wear" - The Learning Channel at its best!

Lastly, my sweet husband through me a surprise "You Beat Cancer" dinner...I LOVE THAT MAN!!!!

and he had a Louisville Slugger made that said "Heather Bellanger 2011 I BEAT CANCER"

Have I mentioned how much I love my Ironman???

Loving every minute of my new life - I still get slowed down by back pain and the migraines, but my oncologist reminded me that I just endured 18 weeks of chemo - i need to take it slowly....slowly??? has he met me?!?

What a fantastic weekend!

2011-04-04T08:40:00.001-05:00

I did a little scrapbooking...

While Morgan spent the night at a friend's house, the "Averys" had a marathon dress up playdate. My mom calls the Averys "Rhythm and Blues" for their last name initials R and B...

First we had the "Avery Brides"

Then the "Avery Saints fans"

Shane renamed them "Giggle Boxes" because that's all we heard for 12 hours!!

and with only one outfit change, both of my girls got dressed for picture day today...

No choice but to have a fantastic week!

PS - As Morgan fell asleep last night, she told me, "Mommy, you should let your hair grow like Ms. Daigle's...you know, when your hair starts to grow...". If she only knew how long it will take for my hair to get as long as Ms Daigle's - but she was so cute!

Morgan is standing to the right of Ms. Daigle - the BEST second grade teacher ever!!!

the runaway train...

2011-04-01T23:47:00.000-05:00

don't ask - I don't know how it happened, but last night I started sobbing...like totally irrational over nothing can't breath sobbing...poor Ironman just wanted to fix it, but there was nothing to fix

It wasn't a pity party, I'm not mad because I have cancer and it's totally unfair, my children weren't kidnapped... no, none of that...just sobbing...so I finally fall asleep (term used loosely)...toss and turn all night...and what happens today...return of the sobbing...this is crazy...after four hours this morning, my head was pounding...I could hardly think straight...luckily Ashley suggests drugs - legal of course...

so I swallow 2 steroids, a loritab and a phenergan to stop the pounding in my head and then upon Ashley's suggestion, I chase that with two Xanax...it's no wonder that i didn't think of "vitamin X" considering I stopped anti-anxiety/anti-depression meds over 4 months ago...

so I texted Ashley with a record of my medicinal intake...just in case the paramedics were called for my impending cardiac arrest...and an hour later, I was devoid of any emotional responses at all...It did the trick, I mean I had to stop the bleeding, it's quite possible I would be in the fetal position still sobbing if I hadn't taken Ashley's advice..

Surely there is some crazy hormonal imbalance in my body - am I menopausal due to the chemo? - yes, I think so, am I coming out of it? I hope so! Are my hormones depleted/raging/mad at me??? it's quite a mystery...and then the core question...How long do I give these insane hormones time to settle down before seeking professional help?? I mean, there must be happy medium between a sobbing buffoon and the xanax induced robot, right??

Why I am sharing this with you? Who knows...I'm an open book and I just can't help myself - plus the last few posts were "pretty rosy", so we all needed a reality check. Anyway, it's safe to say that everything is fine...for now...and I'll keep you posted on any further "commit her to a padded cell meltdowns"

PS - if there was ever a doubt in my head, this squashes it...upon seeing me - bald, eyes swollen shut, nose running, mascara caked into my crows feet - Ironman still manages to love me and tell me I'm beautiful...please don't anyone take away his rose colored glasses - he's going to need them for a while!!!

Bethenny...

2011-03-30T19:01:00.000-05:00

first... a little Anne Taintor...

now back to Bethenny Ever After...I am almost embaressed to admit how much I love Bethenny...Having spent many hours on the sofa in front of the TV during the past 6 months, I have seen some pretty bad tv...Housewives of ANY COUNTY - is my idea of pergatory on Earth, and even Bethenny was painful to watch on NY Housewives, but now that she has her own show, and she is removed from the "housewife" drama - I have to admit - she makes me belly laugh - and you know how I love a belly laugh (it's like enjoyable stomach crunches)

and I LOVE how she and Jason communicate - and how Jason reminds her that she sometimes lives in "Bethenny world" and he brings her back to reality...it's nice to have someone in life to bring you back to reality - luckily I have Ironman!

here's a pic of Bethenny and fam dressed up for Halloween - and seriously, if you like to laugh, check out the show!

Just rambling...

2011-03-27T16:21:00.001-05:00

I have a friend who has wanted something for as long as I have known her...and now that she has it, her blog posts and FB status updates are always full of complaints...Everytime I read something from her, I just shake my head and promise not to fall into that negativity...

Do you ever want to just tell people to suck it up? I can't harp on anyone or try to change their outlook, but I think life is a lot easier if we try to be happy for what we have. I believe we all have the power to make ourselves happy - it might not be easy or immediate, but no one can be forced to stay miserable.

I'm rather miserable TODAY - but I know it's temporary. Shortness of breath (anemia, I think) and the sweating from steroids isn't particularly comfortable, but I did go to see the girls run a 1mile race yesterday and thanks to Ironman, I am taking it easy today. Blue skies tomorrow... and hopefully a few laughs!

Here's Morgan with her "hardware" - 3rd place in her age division...

and then another little girl learned the hard lesson that not everyone gets a medal everytime...Avery is smiling here, but there were quite a few tears when the winners were announced...but I think it's important for both girls to realize that everyday isn't perfect, but we still manage to make the best of them!

after all - we all celebrated with breakfast at Cracker Barrel!! doesn't bacon fix everything???

The last time...

2011-03-24T22:16:00.000-05:00

A friend Erin who recently endured her last chemo treatment sent me a message on Monday. She told me to remember that as I battle through the chemo side effects this time - I need to keep reminding myself that this is the LAST TIME! I've said it aloud to my empty house more than once this week - if my walls could talk!

But it's true - I've made it this far...What's a few more days...

Morgan fell asleep holding my hand tonight. I had tears in my eyes as she told me about her dream where Mommy isn't sick anymore - oh boy...how this had affected all of us...from Shane and the girls to my mom who has really pitched in with the girls, to Ashley who has been confronted full force with running an accounting business during the busiest time of the year, to Jen who has found ways to cheer me up on even the darkest days, and all of my family and friends who have pitched in to make life a little more normal for us...

Pre-cancer, I took 5 meds for anxiety and migraines - once my daily cancer regimen started, I slowly phased out the 5 meds. I mean how many pills could I swallow in a day?? And plus, as I fought cancer, I stopped worrying about all of the little things - the things that made me need those 5 pills...

Now of course I will talk to my doctor, and I may need to reintroduce some of those meds, but I seriously doubt my anxiety will ever reach the pre-cancer level - I simply won't let it. I have always thought a laugh could turn any day around - and I believe that more than ever now... but along with the laughing, I will stop and celebrate the little things...

I don't ever want to be too busy to read that bedtime story, or hear about the class pet, or take that long weekend with Ironman... what is more important than my family?

I can't wait to get creative again...I have missed my scrapbook room and playing with paper and pictures...

My "To-Do" list is full, but it is so different than my pre-cancer lists - this time it is only filled with enjoyable things...no laundry - who cares if the laundry is done...we can always buy more socks!!!

Now make sure you find something to laugh about!! I promise it will make you feel better!

The insomnia cure...

2011-03-23T05:12:00.000-05:00

No, it doesn't make me fall back asleep - 100mg of Prednisone a day is a hard match for anything...

Pinterest is my newest obsession! It's a site that allows you to "pin" (aka bookmark) things from anywhere - websites, blogs, pics - seriously anything and then group them together on "boards". If you are totally confused or a little curious see my stuff here. Now, I can search for my favorite things on etsy and all the other beautiful things on the World Wide Web of vastness and keep them in one place. When you "pin" something it carries with it the source information - brilliant!! So everyone can link back to the original item.

I'm creating Color Inspiration Boards to give me a little creative spark for scrapbbooking. I'm hoping that soon, Pinterest will allow you to copy an entire Board to a blog - that way I can issue "challenges" and award prizes - who doesn't love a prize?...and I have received so many wonderful scrapping goodies during this cancer thing, I want to share.

Getting onto Pinterest is a little like getting an invitation to the "cool kids party". You have to request an invite. Mine took two weeks - probably good since I was pretty productive in tax return land last week, and Pinterest could possibly have impeded that productivity (just a note - I did finish a tax return before I started pinning tonight...and it is 5am - so my clients probably don't want me working on a tax return with no sleep - Pinterest it is!!!)

If you are on Pinterest - let me know...I want to check out your goodies! Now go lose yourself in Pinterest - don't worry - you can thank me later!

Blue skies ahead...

2011-03-21T22:43:00.001-05:00

Finally made it to the LAST CHEMO...Bald and Fluffy but thrilled to be alive!!! Kicking Stage 4 Lymphoma everyday!

And now, a little stroll down memory lane...

This is from the end of my very first chemo where I sufferred from "Chaive".... a disorder where newly diagnosed cancer patients naively believe that chemo will not disturb daily life...maybe for some, but that was not the case for me!!

Chemo #2...still had a little of my own hair under the beret...very little...

Chemo #3 - and I moved to wig territory...should have held out and ordered a little darker shade, but I was BALD for jimminy crickets!!!! I couldn't wait!!

Hats and wigs...I have a closet full of cute winter hats...better work on some summer hats!

For some reason I didn't take any pics during Chemo #4 and #5. Probably because I hated life and chose not to memoralize my misery with a photo!!

As soon as I started loosing hair, Ironman took the girls to buy hats - that's my sweet Ironman!! The girls have kept me laughing wearing my hats, scarves, and occasionally my wig - but that's off limits until Mommy's hair comes back - we can't have "her" shedding!!

My certificate today from the best doctor and nurses in the world!!!

Now off to sleep...meds are kicking in...

Three Cheers for Lane Bryant!!!

2011-03-18T08:11:00.000-05:00

The beautiful weather this weekend made me realize one thing...an additional 35 pounds means my new marshmallowness doesn't fit into last summer's shorts...exit "size 12" stage left and usher in "size 16"...why couldn't I have been one of the "Oh, I don't have any appetite and I've lost 35 pounds" type of chemo patient...they exist...and from my experience in the chemo chair, it's always the little old ladies who "get that kind"...as if cancer wasn't enough, but I get the added bonus of starting from scratch with a new wardrobe...sweet!!

Now let me pause here and make sure everyone knows that I'm very thankful for my new voluptuousness ...it indicates that I survived!! I may be "fluffy" but I'm still kickin'!!! and for that I am grateful...given the choice, I would have chosen A or B and skipped this entire ordeal, but my prize said C for cancer and there were no exchanges!

So off to Lane Bryant I went...see Lane and I have a secret little love affair...I'm no stranger to the plus size world, I'm no skinny minny...so during the "thick" years (versus the more rare "thinner" ones), Lane and I are very good friends...

It just so happens that my last relationship with Lane ended in April 2008 after I completed the One Weigh diet program (and went on to be the One Weigh "poster" girl...see here and here for more on my tiny brush with fame)...since then I've been able to stay in an Ann Taylor Loft size 12 (because you know not all size 12's are created equally, and Ann is just a little more generous than other designers - if you know what I mean...)

But Lane and Target have me clothed for the summer. Lane helped with 2 pair of capris, 2 new bras and 2 cute tops. Target helped round out the "wardobe" with 4 additional tops. Now for the Public Service Announcement:

I will be wearing these eight pieces of clothing until they fall apart.

Don't act surprised if you see me in the same clothes all the time...you've been warned. I consider this fluffiness temporary, kind of like pregnancy. No reason to run out a buy a huge wardrobe for a temporary situtaion. Now if we hit "winter" again (the Louisian version of winter), and I'm still fluffy, then I'll face facts and buy more than the essentials...but until then, I promise to laugh my way through the fluff, and I hope you you can join in the laughter!!

Beautiful weather and happy girls!

2011-03-15T23:37:00.000-05:00

This weekend my college friend Jen came to visit with her girls...

Sure, the have bathing suits would suggest that we have a pool in the backyard, but no, they just ran in the sprinkler and went down the "waterslide" (swingset with slide plus a hose)...how come my girls don't find that nearly as fun when I suggest it??

The energy from the blood transfusion on Friday was instantaneous...I left OLOL singing the theme song from the Great American Hero...Come on... you remember... Sing along...

"Believe it or not I'm walking on air, I never thought I could feel so free-ee-ee, Flying away on a wing and a prayer, who could it be, believe it or not, it's just me..."

Now how come I can remember the song and this picture:

But I can't remember anything about the show...hmmmm...selective memory, I think...

We had two beautiful weekend and I don't want to be greedy, but I sure would like another one!! Hope you had a weekend filled with as many giggles as ours!

Fresh blood for breakfast...

2011-03-10T23:02:00.002-06:00

Where does Billy Blood Drop keep his savings?... A blood bank...bet you never googled "blood transfusion jokes" before...well, I just did, and I'm sorry to announce there are too many links to mention...while most of the jokes aren't politically correct or particularly clean...they are pretty funny...

I'm having a blood transfusion tomorrow...ahhh... some really thick Red Blood Cell filled Blood...and although I know from last time that I don't leave running out to the Chariots of Fire song or the Rocky theme song...I do feel amazingly better in a few days...I'm to that pastey scary white color again...soooo NOT healthy looking!

True story...earlier this week I couldn't sleep...I mean I was wide awake and Morgan had already meandered downstairs during the night and taken over my spot in the bed, so I decided to give her bed a try...By the time I made it upstairs, the chest pains were so severe and I was so freaked out that I almost called 911 for an ambulance...I mean I've had the Neulesta sternum pain, but this was scary...I had the scene all played out in my head...I would tell 911 to send an ambulance without sirens or lights and I would meet the paramedics outside and climb into the ambulance...enjoy my ride to the hospital while under medical care...and then I would call Shane at a decent hour and let him know I was fine at OLOL Hospital...and yes, I do create elaborate and senseless scenes in my head in order to distract myself from reality...I particularly like dreaming about what I would do with my lottery winnings and I can count on both the hands the number of lottery tickets I have bought since I have been of legal gambling age - ie. 12 in Louisiana...

so anyway...back to the story...guess what caused that insane shortness of breath...anemia...yep...the human body is amazing...don't kid yourself, because that cheeseburger you ate for lunch is somehow going to affect your little toe...truth people...

Which leads me to my other recent obsession...my post cancer diet...besides wanting to rid myself of the 35 pounds of "FLUID" I am retaining - ie: fat...I can't wait to rid my body of all these chemo chemicals and starchy carbs that have been my mainstay since Chemo #1...so without using a "label", I am making a list of foods that I would like to be my GO TO foods post cancer. Ironman has so many books on healthy eating and good nutrition that he was more than happy to give me a list of suggestions...

So I started with "The Kind Diet" by Alicia Silverstone, yes the actress, but it is well researched and it is a down to earth read...So 60 pages into the book every reader has sworn off all meat, poultry and dairy products...I mean who would want to drink milk from cows that are kept in tight quarters and fed huge doses of hormones to keep them lactating long after the calves have been swept away...easy...then I start back on my decorating magazines and I think, but I really like the occasional glass of chocolate milk...so maybe I could just drink a little Organic Milk when I need a fix...surely organic farmers are kinder to the cows...r worse...ya' know the Kleinpeter cows on the TV commercials look really happy, so maybe I would just keep a little Kleinpeter milk in the fridge...

now I'm onto my third decorating magazine and I remember how quick and easy it is to grab a piece of fat free string cheese on the go...and seriously there isn't anything natural about fat free cheese, so I"m sure no cow is harmed from the milk quotient..and damn...there you are back at the "don't eat highly processed foods rule"...and I think back to "The Kind Diet" book and I remember that humans are the only living being that drink the milk a) of another species and b) after infancy and then I remember - ewwww....weird...crap...I'm back to no dairy again...

and this is how mind works...nonstop...so as I type this I am eating a rice cake dipped in peanut butter...both pretty natural, but then I can't stop thinking about the fat content in the peanut butter or how they get the puffed rice to be in the round shape...all while drinking a Coke Zero which off course is on the BAD foods list...hello...caffeine, fake sugar, carbonation...nothing good for you, but somehow it still tastes good and I'm still drinking it...

So I'm hoping the Aleve takes over soon and I can move from this seated position and lose myself in my decorating magazines as I drift off to sleep dreaming of the Chariots of Fire theme song....

Cancer retaliation...

2011-03-07T19:23:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I have such big plans but cancer just doesn't play along...I am taking an online art class and my plans for Saturday included lots of "art"...I even put up a second table in my scrapbook room...at the end of Saturday my accomplishments included a destroyed scrapbook room, one layout and two barely started canvases...pathetic...

my scrapbook room is in serious need of an intervention!!! I'm so lucky we "trashed" the idea of a guest room in lieu of a scrapbook room!

I found a new thrift store really close to my house and I scored a pair of orange and gold earrings for 75cents!! You can see one of the earrings on the left side of the layouts - SWEET!!! And below, my little girls on canvas....in need of major creativity boost..."and miles to go before I sleep"

But at least I didn't choose to maul myself...Shane did the Warrior Dash on Saturday along with 7,000 other freaks in New Orleans...I stopped listening to the list of "stupid human tricks" when Shane described the 3 foot trench covered in barbered wire that each willing participant had to navigate...REALLY??? I'm going to have to face the life insurance clause that says, " We don't insure crazy people" one day...

I went to bed Saturday night feeling deflated (not really, I'm very marshmallowy right now due to steroids), but I was in pain from the Neulesta shot and figured I wasn't going to make it to NOLA for Sunday's parades...But I woke up Sunday morning and said, "screw cancer" and we packed up the car...didn't hurt that I made sure I had Loritab and Phenergan "to go"...

Sunday was beautiful...I'm so glad I didn't miss...I even found a comfy spot to snooze after sampling the above mentioned "to go box"... I couldn't miss these smiling faces...

Now...here's where is gets ugly...Monday...Cancer Retaliates!!! Oh brother...pain, nausea, fever...luckily Shane was home half day and our babysitter was available for the rest...God love Adriana!! Still glad I went yesterday...wonderful memories in exchange for one nasty cancer day...and I am marking them down BABY!!

Generosity...

2011-03-03T21:48:00.001-06:00

Dutchtown High School had a blood drive this week. Jen's students were so sweet coming back from donating and saying, "It's for your sister, Sciortino"...although they totally played the "I'm weak and need to rest" after donating...seriously?? Do they think we never went to high school and donated blood simply so we could pull the "I donated blood card" all day?? Some things never change...

Now here's the amazing part...Jennifer Lofton the blood drive coordinator at DHS, Sherry Braud at OLOL Blood Center, Science Teacher Bobbie Keller and Asst Principal Caren Kavanaugh decided to donate half of the units to me now, and if no one else in the DHS community needs them by the end of the year, the other half will be credited to me also.

Why is this so incredible? The OLOL Blood Bank sends me a generous check for these donations. And although we have incredible insurance, there are always, the co-pays, the 20/80 "pays", the "oh, that was Out of Network payments"...you know, health insurance mumbo jumbo...So COMPLETELY GENEROUS!!! I am overwhelmed that DHS and the OLOL Blood Bank is helping me this way.

Having cancer has been a continuous humbling journey in realizing just how generous people can be...and I will be sure to make "paying it forward" a major part of our lifestyle for the rest of our lives...

Ashley and Jen are still training for a half marathon in Nashville as part of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training program. Thanks to family, friends and clients, Ashley has met her goal and Jen is well on her way. Please visit Jen's Team In Training page here to check on her progress...

I can't believe I'm almost finished "chemo week". The nausea didn't really kick in until today - very thankful for that. I'm pretty sure I'm riding the high of the PET Scan news...nothing can stop me now!!!

Partying like it's 1999!!

2011-03-02T19:36:00.000-06:00

In 1999, I was closing out year two of being married to my best friend - we were footloose and worry free...fast forward 13 years and two princesses later and we were blindsided by this nasty cancer business...but the PET Scan results are in....

on Monday, we found out that 75% of my cancer is GONE PECAN. The new PET scan was not nearly as Chernobylish at the first one...there is still some slight glowing, but not like before...

so I only have to endure two last chemos (one of which was Monday, so only one to go) and then two treatments of Rituxan which is a drug that fights the protein created by lymphoma (if you are a medical profession and I totally botched that Rituxan explanation - just work with me...) Good news for the girls is that my hair will start growing back during Rituxan - good news for me...Rituxan is not chemo, therefore I should feel human again!!

So 11 1/2 weeks to go...then hopefully my medi-port can be removed (you think the surgeon could remove a few other things while he is removing the port...you know...my double chin...the genetic round cheeks...just little things like that?)

I have so many plans... and NONE of them involve the worrying and anxiety that plagued my life pre-cancer...seriously...after cancer - what really matters - I'll tell you what really matters...

that Ironman and I enjoy a fabulous life together raising our two beautiful girls...because really...THAT is what matters???

PS - here's how excited Shane and the girls are...

Ok - just kidding - those were taken at Nick's birthday party before we got the news - but I'm sure that's what they WANTED to do after the heard the good news (especially Shane)!

Thank you for all of the prayers, well wishes, messages and emails. Please don't stop now...I need every one - I treasure every one!!! They are saved in my "Kick It" folder and I will save them forever!

Chemo "Porn"

2011-02-28T01:13:00.001-06:00

Well I get the results of my PET Scan tomorrow before chemo. If the cancer is reduced by 75% or more, then I'll only have 2 more treatments. If I didn't reach the 75% mark...that means more chemo...honestly, I don't have a good feeling about it...I mean I know I can kick this cancer crap, but I have a feeling it's going to take a few more treatments...

So instead of blubbering in a tissue all day if the news is less than stellar, I bought out the home decor magazine section...

Mt friend Jen B sent me "Ready Made" and "Traditional Home" is my first mag with Coke Rewards points. Too bad the other three aren't on the Coke Rewards list - does anyone have some pull there?? anyone?

We had an amazingly busy weekend. Saturday was Nick's 3rd bday party, followed by the Caesar parade in Metairie and then today I took the girls to see Pinkalicious. Mommy's back is DONE - but I loved every minute of it. Especially the extra special smiles on the girls' faces! I have plenty of pics to post, but here's a few from Pinkalicious...

Ooohh - and I found this adorable purse at the shop at the Manship Theater

and how cute is this Studebaker? and how about that license plate - LOVE IT!!

What a wonderful weekend. I laid with Morgan tonight as she went to sleep and happy tears were rolling down my face. Even though cancer stinks, I'm so fortunate to make such special memories with Shane and the girls. No one can take those away from us...Now remember this is Chemo Week - so this may be the last post for a few days. Sleep tends to take priority over extra curricular activities - but I promise to be back soon - so in the meantime - get a few extra laughs in for me!!

Happy Mail...

2011-02-27T01:10:00.000-06:00

Since this whole Cancer Scandal went public, I have been the recipient of some pretty snazzy swag...It's almost as good at Ed McMahon (RIP) and the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes...almost...

I just love this card...

This from a woman who has 4 children, a husband who resembles the children in needs (her words, not mine) and a job...see - even more ridiculous when you realize how busy she is...it might also be the monkey...I'm a sucker for a cute monkey...

And then this arrived today...

Ok, so first a little history...Facebook...it brings people together who have barely thought of each other for the last umpteen years...some of them make you want to hit "unfriend", but others are really fantastic and it almost makes you want to kiss Mark Zuckerberg (ok - so there are probably thousands of girls who wouldn't mind kissing the zillionaire, but that has no bearing on my story here...focus people!)

Alright...back to the task at hand...I reconnected with a friend from both high school and college on Facebook and I realize now just how witty she is...almost every post has me laughing out loud...so today I get this odd shaped envelope...I open it and find the Potato Masher with a note that reads:

"I was praying for you , trying to visualize the cancer being driven out of your body, and as I prayed your family's initials just sort of popped into my head Shane, Morgan, Heather and Avery, SMHA, rearranged to get MASH."

So she sent me this cute little MASHer so I can visualize us MASHing out cancer - and it will be pretty handy for mashing bananas for banana bread since she knows Avery LOVES banana bread (and she even included a banana bread recipe)...maybe the monkey will come over with his bananas and make us some bread...now THAT's a good idea...the only person who will hate that is my sister Jen because she hates banana anything - no wonder we aren't BLOOD related...who doesn't love banana bread?!?

so anyway, moral of the story...well there isn't one, but I do appreciate every card, email, MASHer, Coke Reward code and all of the other things that have appeared on my doorstep...It's nice to be loved :)

A burst of creativity from Inspire!

2011-02-25T13:42:00.000-06:00

Last Friday night my friend Paula and I went to Inspire's "Cupcake and Make 'n Take" party. We had so much fun!!! Inspire is the cutest scrapbook store in Thibodeaux. I was so lucky because Paula drove me in her fancy new car and I didn't have to worry about falling asleep on the drive home...safety first! We made some seriously cute projects and the cupcakes were YUMMY - but the displays were even better...you know it's all about the presentation!

Now don't be sad because you missed out on these cupcakes... just make sure you don't miss Inspire's NEXT party...

Here are two of the projects. I'm not finished the third one yet, but as soon as I do, I'll post it...I know that you are DYING to see it...just humor me...

The frame is my favorite - how cute is the little girl on the frame?...just as sweet and cute as my two little ~~gremlins~~ princesses...and you may be wondering WHY we decorated a coffee cup...we're scrapbookers, silly...we will decorate anything that stands still...but seriously I'm about to start an online art class, so I plan to keep my special pencils, pens and paint brushes in my cup...you'll be happy to know that I won't be re-using it for my morning coffee...I'm all about reduce/reuse/recycle, but that's just gross!

And believe it or not, that creative energy carried over to Saturday...and around here energy is at an all time LOW, so that was pretty amazing...soooo amazing that I finished this layout of Ashley and her family at Christmas...

And then I pooped out...but beware...there is so much creative energy just WAITING TO COME AND PLAY...as soon as I kick this cancer thing, I'm going on a creative high!!!! You better not stay idle around me...or I'll incorprate you into my next piece of "art" (art used VERY loosely)...

hoping you find a few moments of creativity this weekend!!

Saving the World…One Coke Reward Point at a time…

2011-02-24T22:03:00.000-06:00

So my sister Jen teaches English at Dutchtown High School…and I am slated to go talk to her Allied Health English classes about my cancer ~~hell~~ battle…so they “know” me…sort of…

Last week, as a way to throw a little cheer my way, Jen offered bonus points in exchange for Coke Rewards points…If you missed the post discussing my recent “attraction” to Coke Rewards point, click here…

Each student was able to bring in 10 codes for 1 bonus point or 20 codes for 2 bonus points…Holy Guacamole!!! There are some serious Coke drinkers at Dutchtown High…or at least people as addicted to collecting the reward points as me! Funny but true…one student’s mom is crazy about collecting the codes but has tired of entering them in…so her son SOLD caps to other students – FREE ENTERPRISE BABY!!!! We’re talkin’ the American Dream!!! And I can totally understand that Mom tiring of entering the caps…Coke makes you work for your codes!!! Here is the loot...

So here’s my idea…apparently high school (and I imagine college students) will do just about anything for a bonus point…so here is a way to improve life on campus and the community…just use the Coke Reward points for things that will improve human life…

A quick perusal of the Coke Rewards catalog reveals the following “prizes”

7pc Stainless Cookware Set…teach a man to cook…
Restaurant Gift Cards…Hunger problem solved
Hotel Gift Card…shelter for the poor
Coke Hats and Shoe Gift Certificates…outfit the cold and needy
FTD Gift Card…to cheer the sad and woeful

The possibilities are endless…but I think we seriously need to harness this opportunity…teenagers with their parent’s money equals good for the community (you like how a slipped a little math lesson in there?)…

So I’m sure that Jen didn’t intend for me to do anything except enjoy the Coke Rewards points…but I aim to please…and my mission here is to improve our community…One Coke Reward Point at a time…

PS – Once I have gathered enough points for the home magazines, I plan to donate the extra points to my girl’s school. Just wanted you to know I’m not a willy nilly point collector – I’m a hoarder with a purpose!!

PPS - When Avery saw a recent medicine box she asked, "Why are there a grandma and grandpa on the box?" I looked at the box - which does NOT have grandparents on it and asked her, "Why do you think they are grandparents?" She looked at the box again and said, "Oh, I guess they are just bald like you!" That's my girl....sad that the chemo patients on the front of the box are mistaken for grandparents...why couldn't they use the fun loving friends from the front of the Kashi box? Now they look like they are having fun!!

but I guess when the pharmaceutical company is trying to sell nausea medicine, it's better to put cancer patients on the box...so long "good friends"...

Well it's a Pillow Pet, Silly...

2011-02-22T20:04:00.000-06:00

So Ironman took the girls to Best Buy this weekend to buy some anti-virus software and what did they come home with?? Why, a Pillow Pet naturally...so here is what I am wondering...when I think of the regular inventory of a Best Buy store...why does a Pillow Pet not seem to fit?

Music, DVD players, Computer games...yes...Pillow Pet...um...no...

But I have to say that I am thankful for the Pillow Pet...You see Morgan went to the doctor on Monday and was diagnosed with not only strep, but the flu too...ahhh...just what a cancer mom wants to hear...

So GiGi cancelled her piano and voice lessons and came home for nurse duty...first order of business??...send me to GiGi's house away from germs...well GiGi has those big luxurious pillows that most people like, but I on the other hand prefer an almost non-existent pillow...you know...the cheap "2 for $5" kind...I get a crick in my neck when I try to use the fancy pillows...but I look around and what do I see??? Avery's Pillow Pet....Come on...sing it with me.."It's a Pillow. It's a Pet. It's a Pillow Pet"...So me and the Pillow Pet slept at GiGi's house last night and took a four hour nap today...we're pretty tight now...

I'm at GiGi's again tonight, but I did go home for my own pillows...honestly...Avery wanted her Pillow Pet back...what's a girl to do???

Fruit...the way nature intended it...

2011-02-20T15:29:00.000-06:00

COVERED in CHOCOLATE!!!

My ex-step-brother Jason and his wife Ami sent this awesome fruit bouquet!! Don't act like you've never heard of an "ex-step-brother"...I mean really...my family tree coupled with Shane's goes a little Jerry Springer...but he's awesome...and since he lives in Colorado he sends me wonderful, "keep kicking ass" type emails - which I read with tears in my eyes and save in a special place for when I need to recharge my "kick- assedness"...don't doubt me - it's a word...

The fruit bouquet people have finally shown me how to keep a cut banana from browning...hello...dip it in chocolate...voila...totally preserved!! Now why didn't I thinik of that before?? And i'm not talking about a single dunk, we are talking triple dunked chocolate - sorry if your mouth is watering...I would share, but the girls have become pretty territorial about the fruit...

I'm having fun with a new photo site called Picnik. I love the "polariod picture" style...but not as much as I love the fruit!!! I'm feeling a little burst of creative energy - so I have to run up to the scrap room and get started before I fall asleep instead!!! Thanks Jay and Ami - I miss you!!

The week is looking up...

2011-02-16T19:06:00.002-06:00

The #2 man in my life is Dr. Spell...Yesterday he gave me new antibiotics, new nausea meds, new steroids and new cough syrup...the bag of tricks is empty!! But I was able to get a break from the coughing last night and I slept most of the day. Life is good!!

Hopefully by the 5th chemo on Feb 28, I'll be back to full fighting mode! I know my last post was very honest - painfully so, but I realized that I needed each and every one of your comments, Facebook posts and emails. I was constantly reminded that I'm not in this fight alone - and being surrounded with love - from far and near is essential right now. It makes each hour a little easier.

Look at my strong girls at the Kids Race for the New Orleans marathon...They were all about the medals!!!

The girls can't wait until I can register for the race too! They are ready for all four of us to do a race as a family. They don't know just how happy that will make me!

Chemo #4

2011-02-14T21:03:00.000-06:00

Chemo #4 is nothing like Mambo #5 – remember that song? And I assure I can top the worst college freshman hell week story…Chemo SUCKS!!!! If you were hoping to read a funny light satirical take on chemo today…sorry...wrong place… find a sweet polite blog…this one is going to explore the dark forbidden secret world of reality chemo…

First, nausea…as in violent, can’t eat anything… no appetite… nausea…so I have lived on Emend, Zofran and Phenergan since last Monday …which is ok because the Phenergan puts me to sleep and I can snooze through some of the misery…but naturally I am taking 100mg of steroid everyday which means the inside temperature of my house is kept at 64 degrees with the window open and I’m still sweating…ahh steroid sweats…so I fall asleep with the Phenergan only to wake to drenched nightclothes…I mean soaked to the core and then I’m freezing from being wet, so I get in a hot tub of water to warm my bones, but I can’t stay in too long or I will get nauseous from the warm water…

What little I have been able to choke down this week tastes like cardboard with a side of metal…yep that metallic taste moved in this week…and every drink from iced tea to coke zero tastes like battery acid in my mouth and I really can’t drink too much water because it’s too “light” and doesn’t stay in the intended area of my stomach, instead it makes a return visit…

Migraines have moved back in…the dull ache sitting behind my eyes…and my mouth has erupted in sores once again…unfortunately the one on my lip has scared off Morgan and Avery and even if I wanted to smile, I couldn’t, for risk of cracked and bleeding lips…My skin is paper thin so I have to be careful even opening my medicine bottles

I feel like I have been ovulating for 7 days…and to the female instinct this can only mean that this was the last viable egg left unharmed by chemo…my body telling me, “this is your last chance”…I envision the rest of my eggs as a rock garden devoid of any possible human existence…none of this is based on science but only on maternal emotions...and I'm sure the male readers are running for the hills about now!!

Unrelated to chemo, I am suffering with an emphysema type cough, which when erupts, makes my entire body ache…as a cautious measure, I am taking 2 Augmentin pills each day. The bottle and pill read “875 – 125mg”, so I’m not sure if they are 875 mg or 125 mg, but I assure you that the next pill I’ll be taking is Diflucan…the women readers will be able to relate…

I really miss Shane and the girls…they have been treading very quietly this week…careful not to disturb Mommy…but I am really in withdrawal of my family…next week I will find out how many more chemo treatments I will need…I am focused on just two more sessions…the girls are too…they are determined that Mommy’s hair will start to grow back before school lets out for the summer…I can’t disappoint my girls…

Now…for the reveal…Avery took this picture of me on November 8, 2010 – just two weeks before being diagnosed with cancer…

And today…here is my face ravaged by chemo…the medicine I desperately need to keep me alive…

Thankfully some friends have stepped in to help make the girls feel extra special this Valentine's Day. I'll post some of those pictures next time. I missed by doctor's appt this morning because I was too nauseous to get out of bed. So off to see Dr. Spell in the morning...

Weekend Wrap Up and the Monday Morning Blues...

2011-02-07T20:32:00.001-06:00

We had such a great time at Arbor Oaks in Lake Charles. Ashley and I actually completed our Christmas Card Albums (yes, non-scrapbooker sister Ashley)...most of us made a Book Wreath...tons of layouts and cards were completed...good time was had by all....

Except for the little present I brought home...a cough and fever...damn it...you leave the bubble for a few days and it bites you in the arse! Last night fever spiked at 102.1...not much sleeping happened...just aches and fever...

So today is Chemo Day...luckily no "interesting" waiting room convos...just one loud talker who was VERY proud of her children and grandchildren (even Ironman said, "I can't even block her out to read"...and Ironman can block anything out!) So we go in to see Dr. Spell. I'm definitely fighting something - probably a virus b/c my WBC dropped two points from the Rockstar numbers last week. He considers delaying my chemo a few days...but then drops this line..."Our goal here is to save your life, so I'd prefer to keep chemo on schedule"....What reverberates through my head in slow motion all day? "s a v e y o u r l i f e"...these are the doses of reality that I choose to ignore...so we move ahead with chemo...and Spell ends our little visit with "I'm just showing you how tough you can be"...good times...this week should be a blast!...

now just for fun, I'm going to show you a few scrumptious things that I have found on the Internet lately...no post is complete without a picture!!

have a laughter filled week!!! PS - in case you love any of these, I found all of them at Patina Stores...

The Week In Review...

2011-02-02T19:44:00.000-06:00

and it's only Wednesday...never a good sign when enough has happened already that by Wednesday I can do a recap...

Start with the weekly Monday morning doctor appointment...Sitting in the waiting room of the oncologist's office where the median age is 60ish...and a woman (used loosely) about my age is talking VERY LOUDLY to the man BEHIND her. Not the older man that she is accompanying to the doctor's office...and you know this kind of woman...the one who thinks her conversation is SO interesting that everyone wants to hear it so she speaks loudly...

The first thing I hear fly out of her mouth is, "Yeah, my husband says I'm bi". My head jerks up...She continues with, "I mean I don't have any problems with lesbians"...I concentrate REALLY hard on my magazine trying to drown her out...I mean I had the new Southern Living, that's good reading...even chatting with the sweet man in the chair next to me... you know...on the benign topic of the weather nonetheless...

But oh know...my concentration looses focus when I hear, "I mean every girl - whether they admit it or not - has kissed a girl"...I do that head spin around thing like in cartoons mostly to see if anyone else is hearing the same conversation I am...but everyone looks tired, in pain, or hasn't fixed his hearing aid yet...so looks like I'm the only one...

Once I'm called back, we all have a good laugh about the waiting room conversation and the good news...All my blood counts are UP!!! Whoop Whoop!!! Little dancing...Ok, Spell doesn't dance and I really only dance in my head...but it FEELS like I'm dancing!!

And I have BIG plans for Tuesday...going into the office...getting things set up for tax season...checking a few returns...but Cancer had a different plan...it's pretty strong willed you know!

I didn't sleep at all Monday night...just achy, stomach and foot cramps...but I was still determined to be a productive person on Tuesday, so I got up with the girls, made breakfast, made my coffee and all of a sudden I got the chills...like I said to Ironman - deep down bone cold...took my temp and it was 101.6...now in cancerland anything over 100.5 requires an immediate call to the doctor...so what does Ironman do? put me in bed... put the girls on the bus and called the doctor...here we go again...

I am FREEZING and the thought of changing my clothes is frightening...and I didn't have anything clean and then I realize I slept in my clothes from Monday...so day two at the doctor in the same clothes - NICE!!! at least I brushed my teeth and put on fresh deodorant...

Shane has a meeting at work, so Ash takes over the chemo-chair side care...I get an IV of antibiotics and fluids, they culture my blood from two different sites and after 4 hours we head home...Now...here is where Shane gets canonized for Sainthood...but not before mentioning that my wallet wasn't in my purse so scrounging at the bottom of our purses Ashley and I managed a total of NINE CENTS...not even enough for a cold drink... of course we posted this on Facebook and the comments made us laugh all day...

Back to Canonization...Feeling like a rockstar on Monday...I had promised the drama queens that they could get their hair cut on Tuesday after school...and they DON'T FORGET and they DON'T CARE that Mommy is sick...so Ironman after getting home late from work and starving, loads them into the car for haircuts. You don't need to ask why I love this man...but I do often wonder why he loves me?!?

So here are two very happy haircut girls (in normal "pose" position)...

and this afternoon...more good news...the blood culture gave no sign of infection...so I am going to Lake Charles tomorrow - the weather can't stop me!!!! Scrapbooking weekend with the girls...and this time I have the dates correct!! Oh, I can't wait for this weekend of laughs!!!

The Question and Answer Session

2011-02-01T06:52:00.000-06:00

QUESTION FROM KRISSY: I want to hear more about the Dirty Santa Party. I attended a school mom's Christmas night out last year and thought I might give you a bit of a chuckle regarding my white elephant gift. I happened upon a pair of frosty the snowman boxer shorts at kmart, of all places. The eyes of coal and large, quite droopy, elongated carrot nose are strategically placed on the front of the shorts....you get the idea. Unknown to me, my hubby saw the wrapped gift at the door and decided to be mr. funny man. He taped a written prescription, from an old prescription pad on the bottom of the box. It read: nightly fellatio (did I spell that right...i am turning red as a frickin beet while typing that word) as needed, Doctor's orders. The prudish mom who got my gift was a bit taken aback. The worst part is that everyone else showed up with a real gift like stationary, chocolate or a plant. I'm sure i came off looking like a big ho. Maybe it was just a secret santa party and not a white elephant party....how did I miss that tidbit of information.

ANSWER: See Krissy – this is why we are still friends...we have the same warped sense of humor… Our friends host a “Dirty Dirty Santa” party each year. Everyone brings a “dirty” gift (rude and tasteless and completely devoid of any practical use). Then the swapping begins. #1 chooses a gift from under the tree…#2 chooses a gift from under the tree or steals a previous gift…I think the gifts are best “explained” through a pictorial…

This year a doctor included in his gift a sample to Viagra…let’s just say….it was a HOT ITEM!

QUESTION FROM DEBORAH Z: I have been reading your blog, and have talked my husband into taking me to the Habitat for Humanity Store near Elysian Fields in New Orleans the next time I go to New Orleans to my doctor. My doctor is located on Magazine Street. I am looking for an old window with about six panes to hang on a wall. I plan to scrapbook each pane. Do you know of any other flea market type stores in that area in New Orleans I could browse through? I plan to take the day off work.

ANSWER: LOVE the Habitat store!!! And what a good man to take you there!! You will have dozens of window choices. Make sure to check out the art section inside near the back. Another favorite is River Road Flea Market (http://www.riverroadfleamarket.com/) – I always find at least one “treasure”!! If you have time, stop at Jefferson Flea Market. It is FILLED with small items – dishes, collectibles, junk… (http://neworleans.citysearch.com/profile/36520344/kenner_la/jefferson_flea_market_llc.html)

Here are a few treasures that I have found/made with items from the Habitat store (with the help of my handyman boyfriend Kevin)...

the $5 mailbox:

a window screen turned into a memory board:

this frame was made by layering two pieces of trim wood found in the outside yard:

Enjoy! And be sure to show me your “treasures”!!

QUESTION FROM DAWN H AND MARSELL: Must an employer issue a 1099 regardless of how low the income? Say, $200? Thx!

I have a (former) client who refuses to send me a 1099, as they're no longer in business. Isn't he legally obligated to do so? And if he doesn't, do I create one on his behalf - or just track the income and not worry about it? Hey, you said tax questions were okay. ;-)

ANSWER: And they are perfectly OK – so here’s the deal. If you earn $600 or more, you SHOULD receive a 1099. A business is required to issue 1099’s to individual contractors earning more than $600. For example if Bellanger &McQuiddy hires a CPA to do tax returns and he reports income under his Social Security number (not a business name) and he earns over $600 – we need to send him a 1099. But we don’t have to send a 1099 to the guy who cuts the grass because his business is incorporated and he reports income under a business tax ID number.

Jason – you don’t have to create any kind of 1099, just report the income. Here’s the part my clients don’t like…Even if you don’t receive a 1099, you are required to report all income received…the choice is yours (since you aren't my client)…

QUESTION FROM ANONYMOUS: Who's your favorite sister? Just asking.

Are you kidding?? I don’t like either of them – clearly you haven’t met them!! BUT, they are my sisters, therefore I LOVE each of them equally yet for different reasons…

Ashley (in alphabetical order) is nutty about saving Coke Rewards for me…she never misses a day of work…she visits me at chemo every time WITH sonic drinks…she remembers where I “stack” work stuff…she generally keeps track of my day to day activities when I can’t remember…How could I not love that??

Jen calls me randomly with funny stories and makes me laugh like a buffoon, she owns every kitchen gadget/appliance ever made – and one day that may come in handy…she makes really yummy desserts…and she stays away from the minute details of my life...thankfully because I don't need two personal assistants...LOVE!

QUESTION FROM ANN: I want a new nickname for you. "Cancer Girl" Defines you with the disease and is negative energy and thoughts. Healthy Heather, Mighty Mom, Woman Warrior, Iron Woman just a few suggestions. You are much more creative than me. Love you my friend.

ANSWER: Negativity be gone!! I’m all for a more positive nickname – I’m usually self-deprecating with my “humor” – term used loosely. Votes anyone?? More Suggestions??

QUESTION FROM DAWN H: I am SO THANKFUL for the close-ups of Pioneer Woman's cowboy hubby in chaps. His Wrangler-covered backside is the stuff that dreams are made of. If only there were some way to get poster-size prints made and hang them around the house without making my own hubby jealous, or causing my kids to wonder what is wrong with Mommy...

Which leads to my question for you, Miss Heather... what part of a man's physique interests you the most?

Clearly from this picture – you can see that I love Ironman for his sense of style!!! Actually... I like a good butt. And thankfully the girls were blessed with his booty rather than my pancake flat butt!

QUESTION FROM DONNA B: Can't wait to see the Q & A's. I'll start. What is your absolute favorite treat?
ANSWER: Oh, I have so many favorite treats!!! The non-edible kind…scrapbook goodies and belly laughing and falling asleep holding either Morgan or Avery’s hand…edible…sushi, doberge cake, Grecian sauce with pita bread, good king cake, banana bread, raw oysters, oh, I could go on…the picture of this king cake is making want to get in the car and drive to NOLA for a colorful sugary bit of heaven!!!

QUESTION FROM DONNA B: How are your sweet angels handling your illness/treatment?

ANSWER: Morgan is a little me – therefore she worries, blows everything out of proportion and gets stress migraines…so Mommy’s cancer is probably harder on her…She always asks me to keep my cap on…she is quite obsessed with the hair loss

Avery is our happy go lucky carefree child…that’s not to say that she hasn’t cried at school because her “Mommy is sick” or she hasn’t crawled up on my lap and cried – they both have. And both of them are especially sensitive during a week when I’m feeling rotten. They definitely feel the void. And knowing that they are affected pushes me to get out of bed and give them as much attention as possible. Lately, the girls take turns going to sleep with me in my bed. This is a new practice – post cancer…but it’s a very special time for me, because somehow in the dark alone with Mommy is when the talking starts… I hear about if they were sad during the day, of if they are upset because I have spent a week in bed… and most precious to me, each one falls asleep holding my hand…sometimes I drift off to sleep with happy tears running down my face knowing that I got that precious time with my babies…

QUESTION FROM "THE GIRLFRIEND: oh where do I begin?????? This could be fun! So my question is; Does Ironman have the same secret love for me as I have for him???

ANSWER: Yes Melanie, he does…In fact…many times during the night I hear him mumbling “Oh Sweet Melanie, please cook me some deer meat”

QUESTION FROM DAWN H: Not only do I not know your political leanings but, more importantly, I don't know if you like jello. (I don't, just in case you ever want to give me a dessert. Cheesecake yes, jello no.)

ANSWER: Dawn, I vote republican – but let me explain my political savvy can me summed up in a nailhead…unless it of course involves tax legislation, and then I am forced to pay attention…a hazard of the job..Unfortunately I don’t watch the news or read the newspaper, luckily, my friends on Facebook keep me pretty well updated on current events…Chilean Miners – yep Facebook updates, the shooting in Arizona – check…The latest celebrity breakups…done…Now if I could find a friend who regularly posted TAX LEGISLATION updates, I would be set…anyone? Anyone??

And just because 3 years ago we brought the movie “Nalin Palin” as our Dirty Dirty Santa party gift, that meant no disrespect to the Republican party…or women for that matter…it was about bringing the BEST GIFT!!

Jello?? It’s OK… as long as it doesn’t have mystery fruit or marshmallows in it and I prefer orange jello with whipped topping – emphasis on the whipped topping…hospital style…but I do prefer Cheesecake, Doberge Cake, King Cake and Chocolate Chip Cookie Squares…all with whipped topping…see picture of king cake above...

So that about sums up the very first (and probably last) Q & A session...unless of course these answers disturbed you and have prompted new questions...Hope you have a great day!

Getting Fit for A Cure...

2011-01-30T12:33:00.000-06:00

me....nah....I'm just withstanding the hard knocks of chemo...but my sisters...well.. that's a different story...

they are both participating in the Team in Training program with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Ashley's fundraising page is up and running...just like she is...a mile yesterday...go ASH!!

every dollar counts...especially if it means the next Mom might have a little easier road with her treatment...that's my battle cry "Fight Like a Mom"...because when I'm having a rough day, it's these two little faces that make me dry up the tears and pull up my big girl pants!

Please visit Ashley's fundraising page here. Thanks for every penny!

The benefit of the doubt...

2011-01-28T19:41:00.000-06:00

First, I had this awesome idea today to deal with wig bangs...see they are always IN MY FACE!!! Last week, I pulled them back in a clip and that worked, but today, I figured out how to get them out of my face with my sunglasses!!! It was totally cool, even makes the wig look a little less "wiggish" when there is something as natural as sunglasses on top...went to lunch - perfect, went in to work, again perfect...then pulled out of the parking lot of work and the sun was glaring in my eyes, and as I went to get my sunglasses...not only did I pull off my sunglasses....but the wig came off too...NOT SO COOL!!! So let's just say, I won't be using my sunglasses as a headband anymore...

Now, I pretty much assume that everyone around me - friends, clients, even slight acquaintances, are of average or above-average intelligence...and yet, I am proven incorrect on a DAILY BASIS...I could become jaded, but I won't...I will still give everyone the benefit of the doubt...but after these two...I'm still just shaking my head...

First...a client came in to pay $100 towards her bill, as she does every month...and I can actually hear her saying this in a hushed tone..."How did Heather catch it?"...Now Lucy is VERY patient...I mean painfully patient...But I'm sure even Lucy almost lost it...But Lucy explained that it was CANCER...not a communicable disease...I didn't catch it...You can come around me with out fear of catching it!!! What is sadder is that I know this woman procreated and raised a child....Almost afraid to meet said child...

Second...I talked to one of Morgan's friend's mothers today on the phone...Morgan and friend had cooked up a playdate and naturally I was just supposed to jump in the car and go pick up said playdate..."Mom, she lives in Old Mill"...Um no...so when said friend called, I asked to speak to her mom...this is where it gets good...I invite friend over to play tomorrow, and mom gives a tentative "yes", but needs to double check with husband because she just had baby four and she has "momnesia"... as quoted by her...I congratulate her and mention that Shane and I knew we could only handle two "darlings", so we stopped there...she then mentions that she and her husband were "perfectly happy with two, and were quite surprised by number 3 and flabbergasted by number 4, but it must have been God's will"...I'm sorry...now this is where I have to step back and say...many people are caught off guard by #3...but I haven't had a single friend who was surprised by #3, get "surprised" yet again with #4...it's called birth control....

Naturally I will get some backlash on this one...I think everyone should has a few or as many children as he/she chooses...but when someone says "we were perfectly happy with two", well that kind of indicates that you were happy with two...end of procreation story...anyway...God Bless Her and her four children... because I would be NUTS!!!

I am compiling questions for the Q &A blog post. In the interest of well "interest", I'm trying to include photos...because every story is better with a photo...just my opinion...but thanks for the questions...I'm glad I don't have to make them up myself....I'm one step closer to coolness that way....

And if you saw a crazy girl pull her wig off today...yep... that was me! Laughing at myself through cancer - one day at a time!!!

Stolen idea from the Pioneer Woman...

2011-01-27T21:23:00.000-06:00

Posting often is getting a little difficult...I'm not that interesting especially when I sleep all day...but I used to read the Pioneer Woman's blog all the time and every so often Ree Drummond would open herself up to questions from her readers...People would ask the funniest/most serious/outlandish things... and those were just the ones she answered!! I have received a few emails recently from new readers asking me questions...if I haven't answered those personally (due to internet problems), then I will add them to this Q &A...that's if I even get any questions...this could totally flop... but then you might not know it flops, because I could just answer random questions of my own choosing to make me look ~~super~~ marginally cool...

To sweeten the pot, I will answer some general tax questions if asked, but nothing that is going to cause me to wear the orange jumpsuit and pick up trash...that's just not a good look for me... and really...how much trash could "cancer girl" pick up anyway?? And cancer questions are fine...I'm pretty much an open book...

Oh, and my post at 2:30 this morning said that I was leaving to go out of town for the weekend...yep..Cancer Girl screwed up again... that would be next weekend...talk about starting off 8 women's day with a little hysteria...as my sister Ashley said to them, "and you believed Cancer Girl???"

So feel free to either ask questions in the comment section of the blog or email me at hhb1974@hotmail.com. Deborah and Dawn, I have answers for you coming - I promise!! Thanks for playing!!!

Arbor Oaks May Special

2011-01-27T20:42:00.000-06:00

Shelly just posted a special on Facebook for May 2011...

MAY MADNESS: Book any weekend in the month of May, 2011 and receive a Thursday or Sunday night FREE!!

Check Arbor Oaks out on FB here or online here. Enjoy your stay! PS - I do not receive a commission or referral fee, I just love to get away from it all with my scrappin' chicks, and this is a great place to do that.

Last time I was there, Lake Charles still had TWO local scrapbook stores, plus you almost HAVE to stop at Create 365 and Treasured Memories in Lafayette on your way there...PPS - no animals were harmed in this blog post...thank you very much...

Sleeping my way through cancer...

2011-01-27T03:18:00.002-06:00

one day at a time...if it weren't for these two...

I could totally become "Hermit Heather"...I'm pretty sure Shane would just go about his daily activities and instead of going out to dinner, he could just bring food home...but these two aren't so easy to convince...they have Social LIVES, and AGENDAS and they NEED things (like trips to the mall for new clothes)...really important stuff...luckily for me, they often NEED SUSHI (see the menu in the above picture), which is a win for everyone except our budget...but since it's what Cancer Girl wants to eat, I can easily justify it as a "medical expense" (remember Playstation 3?)

And I'm not really a productive hermit...I'm a pretty sleepy hermit...I've decided it's the cumulative effect of chemo...or so the nurses have explained...it's not like the chemo from the first session is completely out of your system, so with each treatment, you "hoard" more chemo...not sure, but it must be true...because I didn't sleep this much the first or second go round...

I did put the finishing touches on some scrapbook layouts from a crop two weekends ago...and I'm leaving on Thursday to scrapbook (or sleep) with friends in Lake Charles at a cute retreat house Arbor Oaks. Whether I'm sleeping or scrapbooking it will be nice to visit with friends and look at some other walls besides the ones in my house...

My Internet was giving me fits yesterday...Hermit Heather NEEDS her Internet...thank goodness it's back up now...I figured 3am was the perfect time for a blog post (especially for my friend Jana)...that's the other thing about sleeping your way through cancer... you don't always sleep when everyone else is sleeping...good if you prefer little to no human contact...but I enjoy human contact (especially germ free contact), so that's when caffeine is pretty handy...oh and btw, mt precious niece Mia has been in the hospital since Tuesday (I think, it could be Monday), and she's finally coming home tomorrow...she was admitted for dehydration, but I'm not sure exactly what they have been doing/testing all this time...but I know Jen and Dominick are MORE than ready to have their little girl back home...she even looks cute in her peach hospital gown...

I probably won't post while in Lake Charles...you can assume I'm still alive, just not blogging - you know me...always optimistic!! Hope your weekend is filled with as many laughs as mine!!

Leg Cramps and Tongue Piercings...

2011-01-24T09:03:00.000-06:00

Not intentional.... and NOT fun!!! especially at 2am...the leg cramps that is... but my little friend here...

occasionally suffers from the same "flat footed leg cramp" syndrome that I do (I made that up if you had any doubt at all), and last night was Mommy's turn to rub her legs and draw a hot bath at 2am (Daddy took leg duty the night before)...

Now the tongue piercing is a result of chemo, and no, I didn't pierce my tongue, but I do have a hole that has almost completely burrowed through the center of my tongue so that I COULD have a piercing, but I would really just prefer the hole to close up and go away, because it is KILLING me...I'm going to the doctor today and demanding what my friend Melanie calls the "Miracle Mouthwash"...a mix of liquid Lidocaine, Benadryl, Maalox and Nystatin...and if I don't get it...well...let's not even think about that...because I need to lighten up on the Loritab bottle and the Miracle Mouthwash is my only hope...

Wish me luck! Oh, and let's hope the leg cramps go away too, because "little Heather" needs her sleep!!

Just for laughs...

2011-01-23T18:24:00.000-06:00

A friend send me the link to this website, and it's hysterical!!! Especially if you have:

a) been pregnant
b) been around a pregnant person

so that pretty much covers everyone, and I bet you can find humor here...

Pregnant Chicken - Keeping Pregnancy Sunny Side Up

The latest post, dated January 18 - "Clever Pregnancy Comebacks" had me laughing out loud!!! But knowing my state of mind, that doesn't take much...

Some of my other favorites are:

Awkward Pregnancy Photos and

10 Things to Never Say to a Pregnant Woman - cleverly listed under the "Best Of" section...

so when you find yourself in need of a good laugh, be sure to check Pregnant Chicken, I know I will!

Avery's big news....

2011-01-21T14:13:00.000-06:00

Shane went to lunch with the girls today at school. At about 1:30, I got this picture in an email, and about 10 minutes later, I heard the key in the front door...

It seems that the loss of Miss Avery's first tooth caused quite a meltdown at school. Maybe it was the blood, but Shane said she went completely white, starting sweating, had to take her jacket off and was crying hysterically...so guess who left school early....Have I ever told the story about Shane's reaction to "seeing" my c-section in the operating room? I think they may have the same reaction to blood and guts!

Right now she's sitting next to me on the sofa trying to get used to the new space in her mouth. She's very quietly trying to say words with the "f" sound...so cute... and she keeps swallowing and sticking her tongue through the space...but she doesn't want me to notice that she's doing any of these things...

loving these few special minutes with her...even if she did ask me to put my hat on!!!!

Mrs. Ascension Parish...

2011-01-21T13:00:00.007-06:00

here I come!!!! Miss Delaware Kayla Martell has renewed my secret wish of becoming a beauty queen...I mean who doesn't want to duck tape her boobs together and tape her butt up? Now I don't know all of the recent trends in "taping", but when I was at Southern Miss, I can guarantee those pageant girls LOVED some tape!

And since I know at least one of the members of the Homecoming Court at Dutchtown High School tanned, got hair extensions, got faux nails, bought two dresses that probably cost more than my wedding dress...all for the Homecoming Game presentation...I can't even imagine what is spent on pageant preparation these days...

Seriously, my days of pretending I was Miss America walking down the "catwalk" ended in about 7th grade, if you could have seen that haircut....I mean, it was clear very early that I wasn't exactly pageant material...

But here's Miss Delaware...

with and without her wig... she doesn't have the "canca", she suffers from alopecia...but either way she has renewed the dreams of bald girls everywhere!!! So I Googled "Beauty Pageant Tips" in case I decide to enter the next pageant....

A more expensive wardrobe does not guarantee success. Good thing - because you know how I love a Goodwill shopping spree and fashion show!!

Brush up on grammatical skills and current events - NOW THIS IS JUST GOOD PRACTICAL ADVICE - EVERYONE START NOW!!

Practice. Practice. Practice your talent. If you have the chutzpah to bring out the puppets, make sure it's going to be a crowd pleaser....

During my research, I stumbled across a video from WGN9News in Illinois. If really interested, click HERE for the video. Now this was the kind of info I was looking for...

slather your butt with Preparation H the night before the pageant, then wrap your butt in Saran Wrap...this shrinks cellulite and tightens skin...
"It Stays" (aka BUTT GLUE) keeps your bathing suit in the correct place...
Visine not only helps with Red Eyes, but red acne...

How many times do you think I would have to slather myself with Preparation H and Saran Wrap before I look like this...(17 year old Miss America 2011 Teresa Scanlan)

I didn't find this tip specifically listed, although it was pictured over and over again...Always thank GOD...

I'm sure you're thanking me for these helpful tips - please feel free to pass this heavily researched info on to any pageant contestants...For now, I've decided that my beauty pageant dreams will once again be put on hold...since no one offered a solution for "deflating your body from steroid puffiness"...I"ll spare the judges for now...

And one last thing...Don't ever forget the competitive spirit!!

So this is what chemo nausea feels like...

2011-01-19T14:58:00.000-06:00

it's the pits!!! been in bed all day, which is fine, I needed the rest since I didn't get much yesterday, but I'm quickly remembering the entire 9 months of pregnancy for Morgan... and it isn't one of my more pleasant memories!

I have taken the super duper Emend pill, Zofran and Phenergan. The girls will be home soon, so luckily my mom is on standby to help with them. At least this week, I may not double my weight eating everything in the kitchen - gotta find the bright side right??

Plus I have my new Elle Decor, a Martha Stewart Living I "borrowed" from the Oncologist's office and the new Pottery Barn Bed and Bath catalog. That's HOURS of good "picture" reading!!

Off to design new decors with the help of my magazines!!!

My latest addiction...

2011-01-18T19:49:00.002-06:00

Coke Rewards Points... and it's all Susie Harris' fault... you see, Susie posted these awesome magazine subscriptions you can get with Coke Rewards points...You can see her post here. Too bad this coincides with the decision that Shane and I would try to cut out artificial sugars from drinks - as in less Coke Zero, Diet Coke and Crystal Light...which means LESS Reward points...damn...

But look at the magazine possibilities...

And did you know that the "suitcase" of Coke sold at Wal-Mart (probably everywhere else too) is worth 20 POINTS!!!! Makes me drool!!! Magazine subscriptions used to make me feel guilty because I never had time to read them...or even if I read them...what do I do with them after? Well now, I just drop them off at the Oncologist's office and share with other patients - WIN WIN for everyone! Plus, I'm pretty sure that even after I get the "all clear" from Dr. Spell, I'll still make time to read these beautiful magazines...I think cancer is teaching me some important lessons...don't stress about the little things - does it REALLY matter if the girl's bows match their outfits (only for professional family portraits - and that's only once a year...)...does my backyard ever really need to get landscaped...who cares...toys on the floor? step over them...and so I probably won't learn how to use a miter saw this year...but I'm laughing everyday and my girls are happy too - I'd say that's enough for each day!

PS - but if you want to send me some Reward points - hook "cancer girl" up! Unless of course, now I have you hooked on Coke Reward points too!!

PPS - Pathetic, but true, and therefore blog worthy....I was at a crop this weekend and saw an empty Coke 2 Liter in the trash WITH the top on it and I took the top off the bottle that was in the garbage can...I am not proud of these moments...yet I still share them with you...

PPPS - Shane was in an airport last night when he read my blog, so he brought me a copy of Elle Decor - I love that man!!!

Choosing a sitter - Part Deux

2011-01-17T23:52:00.000-06:00

Had my third chemo today - Usually sleep like a log on Night One - but tonight I am WIRED and SWEATING (you know...the 'roids)...

So, let's revisit the "sitter" issue...Remember... Choosing one Wisely??? The day after Chemo One Nurse Karen came and spoiled me rotten...just catching you up...you don't have chemo brain do you???

Day two post Chemo One AND my birthday my sitter was...Melanie Hyatt... a real life nurse...a fabulous friend that I made after moving to Baton Rouge - of the scrapper variety naturally, so you know, she's gotta be a little "off"...on the creative side of life...you know...

Now more than once I have broken down in tears while on the phone with Melanie since this "adventure" began...Luckily I can be totally open with Melanie...and that means she gets to "hear" the tears fall sometimes...

So what does this wonderful woman bring me on my birthday and my second day after chemo? please, prepare yourself....

(Now here's where you have to imagine the picture I took but have since lost and I REALLY thought about staging another one, but it's the middle of the night and I have neither a sweet potato nor a McDonald's cheeseburger handy...)

yes, a sweet potato and a McDonald's cheeseburger...and armed with a warning that SHE needed a nap...I'm not passing judgement here...My goal here is to educate...

When I started to look sleepy she grabbed the down comforter from my bed and snuggled onto my den sofa...OUT LIKE A LIGHT I tell 'ya!!! I was tiptoeing around HER!!!

Since then, I have now assigned her to Morgan and Avery duty and abandoned Sitter Duty altogether. No one needs to come hang out at my house all day and talk to me in between naps - that's just silly - so no Sitters needed...I'll let you know if that changes...But visitors are welcome...especially with Sonic drinks!

I hope this post will aid you assigning Sitter duties if the need every arises. Remember, I'm here to educate. And Melanie....I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

(circa 2009)

Monday Morning....

2011-01-17T06:56:00.000-06:00

I'll be in the chemo chair today... Ashley is sitting with me...Anytime she looks like she might fall asleep I'm going to force her to "play" Madlibs... wonder how much she'll love that?!? Have a funny day!

Where did it go??

2011-01-12T22:02:00.001-06:00

as in...this week?? oh, yeah - I slept it away...here are the highlights:

Monday: Doctor appt, got blood typed and matched at the hospital, bought a new wig, was asleep for 3:30pm
Tuesday: Blood transfusion, asleep by 2:30pm (but I made it up for Morgan's honor roll assembly)
Wednesday: awake from 9:30 to 11:30am, then back to sleep until 3:30pm...but Shane is working late tonight, so I DID manage a Walmart trip (my first since the cancer thing), did homework, made dinner, two loads of laundry and cleaned the kitchen...

so maybe this transfusion is making a difference...I keep waiting for this sudden burst of energy to erupt which turns me into the Energizer Bunny...but maybe that's a little optimistic. My aunt says my coloring is much better - she didn't realize how pale I was until she saw me before and after the transfusion.

I am in awe of blood donors now. I was a regular blood donor for years until being turned away about 4 times in a row for anemia. I received FOUR PINTS of blood - so FOUR people had to donate blood in order for me to get that transfusion - unbelievable! I hope all of the brilliant scientists in the world eventually figure out a way to make synthetic blood, but in the meantime, the world relies on the Good Samaritans who donate blood.

I have been asked more than a few times about donating blood on my behalf. I have found out that Our Lady of the Lake runs its own Blood Bank ( a very large one it seems), therefore replacement donations must be given there. Shane is going to give blood next week and figure out the procedure (ie. a form to fill out with my name, etc) and then I will pass along the info. Anyone who is a regular blood donor who wouldn't mind donating at Our Lady of the Lake next time on my behalf would be greatly appreciated. Once Shane donates, I'll have better info to pass along. I still can't believe that FOUR people had to give blood in order for me to receive the transfusion - no wonder there is always a blood shortage - thanks to all the blood donors in the world!!

A pinch of creativity...

2011-01-08T22:30:00.000-06:00

That's how much I had this week...not even a cup...but it was enough to get me back in my scrapbook room and that was perfect!! So let me tell you what REALLY got me back in my scrapbook room....

See, I'm a sucker for architectural details...Can't afford them, but I love them...so everytime my boyfriend Kevin comes over for a "project" ("project" is the code word for "something Heather designed in her head with no actual skills to create it, and Kevin gets to figure out")...I make sure something pretty is included on his list...

Let me explain the boyfriend part...I have the MOST fantastic Ironman husband - Would NOT TRADE him for anything...and he's handy with a lightbulb or a loose fence board, but when it comes to creating the visions that dance around in my head....well, there's Kevin...Shane and Kevin's wife are fine with this arrangement. Kevin's wife actually introduced us...she keeps my house free from the health inspector, and she waters my plants to boot... and Shane's just happy that I don't bug HIM to figure out how to create the "sugarplums dancing through my head"...

Kevin's main job this time was shelving the attic - totally Shane's request...Is it pretty?? Does it involve salvaged materials??? NO - so you know that project wasn't on MY list...but since he was here, I asked him to trim out the upstairs windows, and build some built in bookshelves in my bowling alley of a "bonus room" - see...the good stuff!!! The bookshelves are in progress...I'll be sure to show you the before and after, but only if you promise not to try to cheat on me with Kevin...I don't mind waiting for him to fit me in between "real" jobs, but I still need to be his #1 girlfriend :)

So back to the trimmed windows - one of which is in my scrapbook room and Thursday was a lovely sunny breezy day, so I opened that beautifully trimmed out window and sunned my toes...

While sunning my toes, I started to look around at piles of "layouts in progress" (term used loosely) and decided to work on a few of them. By this morning I had four pages completed....I owe it all to my tanned toes.....

These may not be my best creations... but they are the first ones since that whole cancer thing went public...so hell, they are better than nothing...and I broke the dry spell and that's the most important part, because everyday is just a little better if I get to create....

I Love You Mommy

2011-01-06T22:45:00.000-06:00

I'm recording this story as much for your sake as my own....

I went to work yesterday and I was at the bus stop to pick up the girls...You have to understand that Morgan isn't generous with hugs and kisses and especially "I love you's" (except maybe if your Daddy, and then well....Daddy's Girl...)

But yesterday, after she hopped in to the car and gave me the "once over", she leaned in real close and whispered into my ear, "I Love You Mommy"...those four simple hushed secret words...I went to bed with tears in my eyes last night from them and I'm doing it again tonight...

Because in the few short weeks since my diagnosis, I have learned that those four seldom said words by Morgan mean so many things at once....It's her way of saying...

"Thank you for getting out of bed today and turning from Sick Mommy to Normal Mommy
Thank you for wearing your wig and some makeup and letting me forget that you're almost bald and your skin is white as a sheet
Thank you for letting me come home after school to my own house instead of being shuffled to GiGi's house
Because I don't understand this whole cancer thing, and sometimes I just want to crawl into my Mommy's lap and cry for a little while"

And it's because of my precious angel girls that I will continue to "Fight Like a Mom" everyday. It's what made me take a shower at 3pm today and put on fresh clothes and a hat and some makeup just before the bus arrived. Because no matter how I feel, I have two little girls who need their Mommy... And I need them even more...

Hopefully I will fall asleep in the middle of this post...

2011-01-04T21:22:00.000-06:00

I love the steroids that Dr. Spell gave me yesterday...even if I've only slept for three hours since 7 am Monday morning...I know.. it's only Tuesday night...but I'm a wimp like that...

But today was like a Rockstar day - the steroids swooped in and made me feel like that girl 2 months ago without a care in the world - I even had a little pep in my step - ha!

I took the girls to Cracker Barrel for breakfast - I called it the "last day of Christmas break celebration", but that was really code for "Mommy wants BACON!!" They didn't even want to go, but I promised that they could get something from the Cracker Barrel "store" which is 5 times more expensive than the Dollar Tree, but...I wanted BACON!!! When Avery literally chose something that was $4.99 that we bought just last week at DOLLAR TREE for.... ONE DOLLAR, I told them we were going to Dollar Tree and they could each choose THREE things. They were sold - they are so cheap and easy...just like their....nevermind...

But first, we must stop for Checkers...I just read emails in the big rocker until the fighting was causing the diners INSIDE to stare..so off to Dollar Tree we went...

But I took the back way to Dollar Tree and that leads us past Goodwill, and I really can't resist a Goodwill stop, so I tell the girls we might even find BETTER stuff at Goodwill, and they rolled their eyes wishing they were born to another mother and followed me in...But as luck would have it (remember Rockstar Day!), they each found precious treasures for less than $1 each - and they quickly realized that this stuff was better and CHEAPER than Dollar Tree so they are hooked... god I love turning them into little thrift store junkies...

Buy this time it's about 11:15 and I drop them off to play at Bailey's house while I go and get my wig "done". But my stylist is on "Rebecca time" so I sneak down to one of the little boutiques in the same strip and instantly fall in love with these shoes...

You must understand - I DO NOT IMPULSE BUY - it was totally the Rockstar steroids!! I wore them right out of the store..and yes, my foot is gently resting on the door of my new "hand me down" car, but I didn't smudge it...(just a little tangent, we realized during Christmas week that we were destined to have both of our cars die at the same time, so in order to pay off one before a second one was necessary, we traded in my 2001 Avalon, I got Shane's Highlander and Shane got a Tahoe...Just imagine how many people DON'T buy new cars Christmas week, so just a tip - the dealership was REALLY happy to be able to put a sale on the board - very good for the buyer!!!)

So I head back down to Rebecca - in my new shoes... and my "girl" gets a little trim...here is the finished product...now let me warn you...I feel like I need a pole and a bunch of $1 bills (and a hot bod), but it is better than bald, so I'll adjust...

After leaving Rebecca I stopped in Sally's because my wig needed a head - hellooo!! And just for kicks I bought a sassy lip liner and dark red toe nail polish...then I headed home to pick up the girls from GiGi's (she took over when the play date ended - we all assumed I would be napping by this point, but not this Rockstar...) and then we get to the part of the day when you just want to stop and ask if Candid Camera is watching...

First thing Avery asks when she sees me is, "Is that your real hair?" Who is she kidding? I didn't grow a head of hair since this morning...so naturally, I answer that it is a wig and she says, "Well, hello Wig Girl"...Thanks Avery...true love...

Then 10 minutes later as Shane and I are eating dinner, Morgan runs through the kitchen twirling my wig around and I yell, "GO PUT MOMMY'S WIG DOWN!" Could I make this stuff up? We used to be so normal...well we passed for normal... now there is NO WAY anyone is buying that!! And one day this will all be distant memory...unless of course one of the girls take up "WIG dancing"....

My joints need a very long soak in a hot tub, but I'm a little worried I may fall asleep and drown in the tub...and how sad would it be if Cancer Girl dies from drowning in her own bathtub...So it may just be straight to bed...I'll be in touch....Hope your dreams are filled with laughs!!!

The Monday Afternoon Update...

2011-01-03T14:46:00.000-06:00

First, let me just say, being a sex symbol is hard work - good thing the big boobs are a thing of the past... Bring me my housecoat and knee highs...Flat chicks rule!!

So I have a standing Monday morning appointment at the Oncologist's office. No matter what, I always think I can drive myself, and Shane usually wins out and proves me wrong...and that's why we make such a great team - he's the smart rational one and I'm the emotional roller coaster...

In my last post I wrote about the Neulasta shot pain which was accompanied by a 72 hour migraine, so when Dr. Spell walked into the room this morning, it took a total of three seconds before I broke into tears.

Huge Surprise - my blood counts were in the toilet! Worse than the "1.0 WBC" of two weeks ago - this week my WBC is 0.5, and the rest of my counts were in the tank too. Especially my Red Blood Count - which I now understand gives you energy... and when it's in the crapper you feel like crap.

So we have a new plan...I got some steroids for the "Neulesta shot" pain, I'm staying on the migraine cocktail to combat the headache caused by Neulesta, and on Monday, we'll recheck my blood counts. If my counts don't improve, we are turning to transfusion land...it's kind of vampire-ish, but if it makes me feel more human, then I'm all for it... come over and let me TASTE YOUR BLOOD!!!

I also need to stop comparing myself to other cancer patients - because unless someone else is receiving treatment for Stage 4 Lymphoma, their experience can't be compared to mine and I'm spending too much time beating myself up because other patients aren't having the same problems as me. I thought it would be helpful to read blogs of other cancer patients, etc, but their experiences are so foreign to mine, that the constant comparisons are not healthy for me.

So that's the 411 for today...I am cracking myself up with all this cool lingo...So much so that I'm going to go to bed now...There is only so much laughing I can handle between naps...